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I’ll tell you where I was. At work, consumed by deadlines. I was so busy with work that I found out about this story after the balloon had crashed to the ground and 6-year old Falcon Heenes was not inside (whew).

Like the rest of the world, I was instantly obsessed with the story, tracking it’s every detail, asking my daycare provider about the latest when I picked up Junior and Sissy, calling my daycare provider on the ride home to give her an update when I heard on NPR they had found the boy, safe in his garage.

When all this happened, it transported me back to a scary time in my childhood when we couldn’t find my little sister one afternoon. She had just disappeared…we looked everywhere. We had the neighborhood searching for her. My mother was beside herself, and my older sister and I were running all over, calling her name, looking under every nook and cranny.

Then we found her under a blanket in our living room rocking chair, sleeping. The blanket was bunched up so that we didn’t even think someone could be underneath it, and in our panicked state, didn’t even check (of course that’s how it always works, right?) My oblivious sister woke to a bunch of babbling idiots hugging and kissing her — and I’m pretty sure I told her I would never, ever push her or take her Barbies again forever and ever because I loved her so.

So this balloon boy stunt brought me back to that day…that terrible, awful day when time stood still. So that makes the fact that this story turned out to be a hoax even harder to stomach. Everyone watching was rooting for this little boy to be found alive, unhurt — only to find out this psychotic family created the entire stunt for publicity. It’s sick. How a sane parent could ever think this would be acceptable is absolutely beyond me.

Is this what the phenomenon of reality television has done to our society? Is this how low we will sink for our 15 minutes of fame? And I thought the Gosselins were the lowest of the low.

New BFF alert…and you’ll never guess!!!

Balki, from Perfect Strangers, er…I mean, Bronson Pinochot (his real name), is my new favorite has-been celebrity. Bronson has done what I wish every famous person would do…dished on all the celebs he’s worked with over the years. And boy does he ever dish. I live for this stuff. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. I live for my kids, my family, myself, etc…but I love this stuff more than I can really express in words. Here’s a sample from his interview with the AVClub…

On working with Tom Cruise in "Risky Business":
We thought Tom [Cruise] was the biggest bore on the face of the Earth... He was tense and made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments, like, "You want some ice cream, in case there are no gay people there?"... There was no basis for it. It was like, "It's a nice day, I'm glad there are no gay people standing here." Very, very strange.

On working with Denzel Washington in "Courage Under Fire":
He was really abusive to me and everybody on that movie, and his official explanation was that his character didn't like me, but it was a dreadful experience. I spent my salary on time with my shrink just for helping me get through it... The script supervisor on that movie said it's like watching somebody kick a puppy. He was so vile.

On Bette Midler's treatment of director Hugh Wilson during "The First Wives Club":
Bette Midler was such a bitch to him. While he was directing, she would be rolling her eyes, pantomiming with her favorite actors, and she made it very difficult. And he was at his wit's end. He was actually a very nice man, but she was very unkind to him on that movie.

Thank you, Bronson. Oh, for the record, Bronson raved about Tom Hanks, saying he is as nice now as he was back in the day before he was an A-list actor. Good to know not all celebrities are tools.

Could’ve been so beautiful

Octomom Nadya Suleman reported she thinks Mr. Jon Gosselin is cute, especially when he wears purple.

What? Anyway. Jon — formerly of Jon and Kate Plus 8 — wasn’t too thrilled with this news, saying it weirded him out.

I just really feel this is one of those sad situations where timing is just off. I think normally Nadya and Jon might be perfect for each other. They could pop out another 400 kids, make reality TV shows together. But right now they are both just too busy. Nadya is a single mom, handling a litter of her own, trying to land a reality TV gig to whore out her children for money, and Jon is out hitting the town like the happening single guy he is, working the younger girlfriend, being sued by TLC for breach of contract, trying to become a good Jewish man, all while working on his own reality show with Lindsey Lohan’s dad about being divorced celebrity dads.

Star-crossed lovers. It’s sad, really.

Keeping it in the family

So, I saw this story online about how Jermaine Jackson is being sued for child support from his ex. He has two kids with this woman, their names being Jermajesty and Jaffar (“Jermajesty” gave my spell check an aneurysm). Well, this news isn’t really all that exciting, but then I read that Jermaine and his brother, Randy, had babies with the same lady! That’s right, Jermaine’s ex-wife, Alejandra Jackson, is also Randy’s baby momma (she had three kids with Randy). WOW. If those kids weren’t already set for disaster just being Jacksons, they truly are now. Good luck with that.

A Real Housewife is pregnant

One of the cast members of the Real Housewives of New York is pregnant. Bethenny Frankel, who just got engaged to her boyfriend, told the press she is in fact a couple of months pregnant. She was really upset that the news was leaked online and she had to come out early to tell everyone, because they haven’t even been to the doctor yet.

“Although The Real Housewives of New York City star had hoped to wait until she was further along to break the news, online buzz on PerezHilton.com caused her to reveal that she's roughly two months pregnant. ‘It’s premature to be telling people this," she tells People while fighting back tears.’

Though she knows she can hardly keep secrets now that she's a reality star, Frankel, 38, says she'd hoped to keep the news private a bit longer. ‘I haven't even gone through my first trimester. We haven't even heard the heartbeat. My [fiancé's] parents didn't even know.’”

Listen, I don’t mean to to be insensitive, but this is how you deal with rumors that you are pregnant: you just don’t say anything until you are ready. It’s really that simple. Perez Hilton isn’t forcing your hand. So I have a hard time feeling bad for her. She’s just another reality tv darling who invites way more drama into her life than is necessary. I do wish her the best of luck, though, of course.

Tina Fey makes me happy

And to end, I thought it would be fun to show you a recent interview Ms. Tina Fey gave on the Letterman show. Tina is absolutely amazing — all that and a bowl of grits. This interview cracked me up. As a friend of mine put it, “She gives good interview.”

More clips from the interview here...