Posted
by Joel Mathis
June 8, 2005 at 4:06 p.m.
"The Breakfast Club: Part Two"
A couple of years ago, when I first started blogging, I hosted a contest to provide the best ending for a [very bad short story][1] that I [had started][2].Anyway, the brilliance of proposed plotlines for the ["Sixteen Candles" sequel][3] convinced me it was time to return to the early, heady days of the blog. So here's the contest:"The Breakfast Club: Part Two"That's right. I'm looking for the best proposed storyline for a sequel to "The Breakfast Club" that would be set in 2005, roughly 20 years after the original. It would bring back the principal characters, of course, to see what they're dealing with.Feel free to submit your entries in the comments section below. All entries must include the following:¢ An update of where each character has arrived in his or her life. ¢ A description of a plotline that drives why they're together, and what drama ensues between them. ¢ The selection of the perfect song for the close-out freeze frame on Judd Nelson. ¢ A short selection of dialogue between two or more of the characters, written as though the audio were edited for broadcast on TNT.I am the judging panel. The winner will receive a $10 gift certificate to the downtown establishment of his or her choice. The deadline for submissions is 11:59 p.m. Friday.Do your worst, people. I have faith in you. [1]: http://www.lawrence.com/blogs/mathis/2003/jul/11/now_with/ [2]: http://www.lawrence.com/blogs/mathis/2003/jul/09/the_cup/ [3]: http://www.lawrence.com/blogs/mathis/2005/jun/05/hanging/
and 9 others
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Todd (anonymous) says…
Back when I first started replying sarcastically to blog entires I had this idea... Why don't I try to get other people to entertain me or at the least serve me in a humorous manner?
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
I don't have Leslie's flair for storylines, but just to show I'm game:
¢ the characters:
Emilio Estevez .... Andrew 'Andy' Clark: He's an assistant football coach for the old high school now, as well as a vice principal. He's a little more sympathetic to old Principal Vernon these days, because he knows what jerks high school kids can be. Just the same, he's trying hard not to put the same pressures on his football-playing son that his dad did on him.
Anthony Michael Hall .... Brian Ralph Johnson: Microsoft developer. Rich beyond the dreams of avarice. Still harbors geek inferiority complex.
Judd Nelson .... John Bender: "The Rebel" cleaned up, got his MBA, became rich during the late 90s, then lost it all in the dot-com bust. He's selling pants for The Gap now (I read about a similar guy in the New York Times) and divorcing his floozy wife with expensive tastes.
Molly Ringwald .... Claire Standish: Republican housewife. Mostly satisfised, but still filling the ennui of late thirties "is this all there is?"ness.
Ally Sheedy .... Allison Reynolds: Stayed in the Chicago area, an artist and a scene-ster who figured out that creating herself, a'la Madonna, is her most fabulous and interesting artwork.
John Kapelos .... Carl the Janitor: Chief of school maintenance. We see him briefly in a cameo at the reunion.
¢ the plot: It's the 20th class reunion for our gang. They seem a little awkward around each other, not having talked, really, since graduation. But they fall in at the reunion and end up at an all-night diner, talking about their lives. At one point in the evening, Principal Vernon happens in briefly -- he's a small-time insurance salesman now. Judd Nelson's character shows him what a big shot he's become.
¢ the dialogue
Vernon: (Suddenly remembering): Oh, yeah. I remember you. You were a punk then - and I read about your flameout. You're a flipping punk now.
Bender: Oh yeah?
Vernon: Yeah.
Bender: (Pauses, then throwing hands up, in exaggerated, theatrical manner) That's RIGHT, Vernon! I NEVER reached your flippin' lofty heights! Whaddya do when you go home from work every night? Hit the flippin' bottle? Watch TV? Have you ever climbed a damn mountain of any sort? I didn't think so.
So yeah, I flamed out. I flamed out. (Looks back at table of friends.) But at least I got high enough to flame out.
Vernon: (Smirks) Yeah. I bet you did.
¢ the closing song: Death Cab for Cutie, "The Sound of Settling."
C'mon people. You can beat this.
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
Or is this all too much work?
pissykitty (Melissa Lynch) says…
I'm just going so sit back and read any entries that come in, but I dare not attempt this. At least not now. Perhaps later when I've had some time to think. The possibilities are endless. I like the direction you went, but I would hope Vernon stays around so he and John Bender can get into it at the reunion. Hmmm...
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
PK: C'mon. I know you've got it in you. What if the sequel took place in, say, Elizabethan England? The gang was time-warped back to then? Eh? Eh?
pissykitty (Melissa Lynch) says…
Oh well, just give me time then. Do I have to come up with a way they got thrown back in time? Maybe a portal opens up in that ugly statue...
leslie (Leslie vonHolten) says…
I'm going to really crap out on the closing credits song, but 10 bucks is 10 bucks. I've been known to do worse for less.
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
Just an addendum to my storyline: Judd Nelson must still be wearing an earring. This is not negotiable.
edie_ (anonymous) says…
Shouldn't it be called the Cocktail Club by now?
edie_ (anonymous) says…
I have to do mine in a few entries because they won't let me comment more than 300 characters, but bear with me:
Anthony M-H: Became a college professor, had a nervous breakdown while defending his dissertation. Went the self-help direction and is now caught up in a huge pyramid scheme where he meets Molly Ringwald.
Ally Sheedy: Transformed from butch dyke to New Age after her job as roadie for Ani di Franco led to a dramatic falling out...uses crystals a lot for "good energy."...has a business selling skirts she hand crafts out of head scarves. Has problem falling too hard for "bi-curious" females who always go back to men, causing the suicide attempt that sent her into new age therapy.
edie_ (anonymous) says…
also...
Molly Ringwald: Her shady lawyer husband (played by Andrew McCarthy, cross reference to Pretty in Pink) found out that she secretly sold fetish videos on the internet of herself applying lipstick to other women's private parts while holding the lipstick tube in her bra to get money for a compulsive shoe buying habit and gambling debts. Addicted to Adderall and Percodet but has inner conflict that her behavior will badly influence her cheerleader daughter with eating disorder. She reunites with Anthony M-H while going to self-help group therapy and discovers that her fetish video and gambling ring are part of his pyramid scheme...something they work through... *together* when she discovers that he was there for her when "she needed a real friend."
Judd Nelson: Now a real DARE t-shirt fuckwad who facilitated "Classmates.yahoo.groups" just to try finding all of his breakfast club buddies. Tries to be the "father he never had" to one of the especially tormented guys (played by Eminem) from the "center for at risk youth" where he works and lets the kid stay with him after the foster services ended. Hooks up with Ally Sheedy temporarily (cross-reference to st. elmo's fire) while she's in town for a New Age conference and he lands unknowingly in her tarot card reading booth. In his reading he finds out that "Sometimes in order to hang on you have to let go" and connects it to the painful but touching relationship he has with Eminem.
Emilio Estevez: Instead of being convicted or fired for taking liberties and doling out steroids to some of his football players, he was transferred to a differnt high school. Blames all of his problems on the flashbacks he has from when the U.S. invaded Panama to oust Noriega, where he shot a family with children. Meets Judd Nelson through one of the "at risk" boys on the team. Molly Ringwald's sleazy lawyer husband represents him when he's busted.
Instead of Judd Nelson solo, he's freeze framed at the end with Eminem, during the final tearjerking scene:
Eminem: "I guess you really are the... father I never had"
Judd: "And you're the...son I used to be."
Eminem: (close-up, deep pause fighting tears) "Wow. Thanks...DAD."
Judd: "No...you're the one who has....helped me."
(Eminem stares in the distance at Molly Ringwald hugging her cheerleader daughter, played by the Olson twins, who stares back at Eminem)
Judd: "What are you doing just standing here like this? Go get her! But Son, don't forget to be...*responsible.*" (holds out condom)
Eminem: "How could I *forget*...when I've had a teacher like you."
The freeze frame is the two of them high fiving each other and the final song is Eminem doing a rap cover of "Don't You *Forget* About Me." (Rob gets credit for coming up with the song so if I win, he gets a beer.)
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
Wow.
jennifer (Jennifer Smith) says…
Molly Ringwald as Claire Standish: has become a bombshell movie star who is concerned with fading beauty.
Ally Sheedy as Allison Reynolds: still a neurotic, shell-shocked girl who has been on lithium for so long that she is a bit of a zombie. She soothes her jangled nerves with Martha Stewart-style down-home crafting, cooking, etc.
Judd Nelson as John Bender: in a surprise twist, has become a very successful professor of natural sciences at a major university.
Emilio Estevez as Andy Clark: owns a successful touring/fishing boat business.
Anthony Michael Hall as Brian Ralph Johnson: felt that he "peaked" when he made all those friends in detention. Having never really gotten over it, he became a bit of a wastrel, until Andy Clark offered him the first-mate position on his boat.
The entire group is reunited when they all find themselves on Andy "Skipper" Clark's boat going out for a three-hour tour, despite impending bad weather.
Oh, wait:
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
Jennifer: Where's your dialogue and song?
murderama (Rob Gillaspie) says…
Edie's entry blew my flippin' mind! Flip yeah!
leslie (Leslie vonHolten) says…
jennifer, which one is the ninja? where are the monkeys in people clothes? does Hey Koolaid sink the ship?
jennifer (Jennifer Smith) says…
Song: (to the tune of Susanne Vega's "Left of Center"):
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip
That started hm hm hm hm hm
Aboard this tiny ship
...
Fade in to the group standing on the shoreline--
Brian: Forget it, "Skipper," the hole in your boat, the only one in your fleet, is far too big to fix. We're stuck on this island until someone can come up with a better idea!
Andy: So, "Professor," you got any bright ideas?
Then they have a fistfight and Hey Koolaid steps in--out of nowhere--to break it up. The group is so preoccupied that they do not see the monkeys dressed as early 20th century aviators who had noticed their smoke signals and were going to rescue them.
Both Allison and Claire are impregnated by Hey Koolaid, who is eventually killed by a ninja.
hmm, leslie, this sounds as if atty came up with it. sigh.
leslie (Leslie vonHolten) says…
not enough hot lava for an atticus story. But, bravo! You & edie have me feeling low and dumb.
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
I wonder if I shouldn't give Rob a special award for writing a post that had only FCC-approved level cussing in it...
And wouldn't Atticus have some robots or something in his story?
Shelby (anonymous) says…
Matt Damon: "Maaatt Damonnn"
jennifer (Jennifer Smith) says…
i think atticus would have robots.
and one of them might bear the name "chumpy."
murderama (Rob Gillaspie) says…
Has there ever been anyhting in the world funnier than Edie's "Cocktail Club" plot synopsis? Two letters: N-O!
rpk (Robert Kerley) says…
I have to disagree with the idea that Andy Clark (Estevez) will still be the jock-bully guy. Paralleling the life of the most stereotypical football player at my high school, he counts the detention experience as a life-changing moment and ends up opening a hair salon which is subsequently burned down. (All true, minus the detention.)
I wonder if Judd Nelson would actually sign on, so I'm guessing his character will be dead. Possibly the impetus for the reunion is a visit to his grave.
Brian Johnson (Hall) is now the bully of the group, rich, boisterous and annoying, but will surely have a formulaic emotional breakdown at some point and recount his sordid tale. (I really hope it's not a flashback movie...)
Allison Reynolds (Sheedy): I agree that she will be portrayed as the cosmo hipster... probably married to a foreign artist, most likely having a lesbian affair.
Claire (Ringwald) is a high-level success-mided exec, married with children but going through a divorce so she can concentrate on her career. Her emotional high point will be the tearful admission of her lonliness and guilt over her absence in her family (yes, I believe it will be mostly trite plotlines...).
If Bender is indeed dead by the end of the movie, and the last shot is of his tombstone, then my vote for the music is "All We Ever Wanted Was Everything" by Bauhaus. But that would be insanely cool, so even if that is the last shot, they'll probably play something by Coldplay.
If I'm completely off base on the dead Bender thing, then the last song will be a remake of "Don't You Forget About Me" (actually composed by the drummer of the Psychedelic Furs) by Linkin Park, or something just as absurd.
murderama (Rob Gillaspie) says…
Curley:
A hearty bitchslap goes out to you for jacking our "Don't You Forget About Me" cover concept-- It was much funnier when Eminem was responsible, especially in light of his casting as Judd Nelson's son-figure/love interest.
rpk (Robert Kerley) says…
Actually I'm "Kerley", and I missed that bit, sorry about that.
The Eminem cover IS funny... I'm thinking in actuality a Hollywood sequel woudn't be funny or profound, just lame, hence a lame cover.
leslie (Leslie vonHolten) says…
Kerley, you just hijacked my plotline! I had them at Bender's funeral. I agree that Judd Nelson won't sign on; hence the body in the casket will be Kevin Costner.
atticus1999 (anonymous) says…
From Atticus himself
[wow, we missed this one, folks--maybe it's full of metaphor]
Molly Ringwald: Likes to go to movies and build buildings.
Ally Sheedy: She makes squirt guns and drives a pickup truck.
Emilio Estevez: Makes scuba diving clothes and likes to pet dogs. Goes exploring in the jungle and is eaten by a T-rex.
Anthony Michael Hall: Likes to jump on trampolines while riding lions. Also likes swinging on tire swings.
Judd Nelson: Likes to look at pictures of bears--grizzly bears. Also likes to dive in the water and ride big fish, but has never had an adventure.
DavidRose (anonymous) says…
Plot - They have started a remarkably successful blog together about what they like to eat in the morning titled The Breakfast Eaters: Start By Eating Happily! An argument over whether or not it is acceptable to use water on cereal when you're out of milk increases existing tensions and creates a rift in the group that might seperate them for good!! Can fugitive from justice Principal Vernon smooth things over while hiding with the group before Tommy Lee Jones catches him!
Characters - Yeah, they're characters. Let's keep their personalities generally the same, but more experienced, as to not upset/confuse the viewer.
TNT Edited Dialogue -
Bender: Gosh damn it! I said I wanting a moon flipping omelette with a side of floggin' hash browns!
Claire: Don't be such an cathole, Bender! She only screwed up taking your order, it's not the end of the world.
Bender: You beef snitch! I don't care how tom cruise this flowering waitress is. I clearly said my straw tossing order right and there's no clipping excuse for me getting peanut buttered clipping pancakes and mouse eggs instead.
Perfect - Some Green Day seem appropriate. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams or Time Of Your Life. Your choice because they're both so awful I can't possibly pick.
DavidRose (anonymous) says…
"hence the body in the casket will be Kevin Costner."
I'm laffing so hard it hurts!!
leslie (Leslie vonHolten) says…
these are all so flippin brilliant, I can't compete,* so I'm admitting to phoning this one in:
the plot:
In 1984 a crack high school cliche was sent to detention. They served their time and emerged more sensitive and self-possessed. Today they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the Breakfast Club.
characters:
Judd "Hannibal" Nelson: The brains and administration of the renegade unit. Also takes part in butchering Truman Capote adaptations with gay/not gay character confusion.
Molly "Faceman" Ringwald: She's a smooth operator; plays bit part in launching Billy Bob Thornton to insane stardom, but always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
Anthony Michael "Madman" Murdock Hall: He crazy!
Ally "Bad Attitude" Sheedy: The brawn of the unit; never wises up to being slipped mickeys every time the plane is about to take off.
Emilio Estevez: The damsel in distress, every time.
dialogue:
i pity the fool!
closing song:
"Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler.
*props to my husband of 9 years for some ideas here.
jennifer (Jennifer Smith) says…
"emilio estevez likes to pet dogs"
i spit coffee on my monitor.
mostly because i'd had him pegged as a guy who liked to pet kitties.
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
This is a beautiful way to start my morning. Honestly.
rpk (Robert Kerley) says…
Sorry Leslie, I seem to be the accidental hijacker...
SarahSota (anonymous) says…
Some crappy band already hijacked Rob's idea- last night on the MTV Movie Awards. They had a BC reunion and some band called the Lemon somethings played a cover of that song.
emclain (anonymous) says…
The band on the MTV movie awards was Yellowcard and they sucked balls. Worst rendition of that song...ever.
leslie (Leslie vonHolten) says…
I decided last night to set forth with "Breakfast Club: The Musical," but there's no time. I need at least 1 year and an NEA grant, plus lawyers to iron out the Rob Gillaspie copyright issues.
So, Joel, who is the winner?
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
Leslie: 11:59 p.m. is 12 hours away, by my count. There may still be entries...
jennifer (Jennifer Smith) says…
not that anyone asked me, but i vote for atticus. mostly because i'd be curious to hear what he'd spent his $10 gift certificate on.
flippin' petting dogs. i was walking around laughing about this all day.
pissykitty (Melissa Lynch) says…
Wow, lots of good stuff. I particularly liked the Kevin Costner in the coffin bit. I almost peed my pants. I am anxious to see who wins.
leslie (Leslie vonHolten) says…
sorry I misread the deadline. I thought this morning. No need to rush genius! In any case, had I any reading comprehension skills, I would have neglected my kids for many more hours this afternoon to give you the musical version.
By the way, the husband reports that my dialogue "was weak," and therefore I should put in the disclaimer that that part was *not* his suggestion.
jennifer (Jennifer Smith) says…
hellooooooo?
your audience is dying out here...who won?
ragamuffinmar (anonymous) says…
ok i hav an obsession witht he breakfast club and although i may not b as old as you all i still hav been thinkin bout a remake since like i first saw the breakfast club at age 8 so here goes
Molly Ringwald: single parent completly cut off from her parents for getting pregnant by Bender now a single parent and struggling for a many years now she show much spite for him even though shes stilll very much in love
Judd Nelson:paranoid rehab in out gambler falanderer / rich man he's still got his money but is he happ y no is anyone with money ever in hollywood movies nope so ya he's trying 2 fill his empty void with alcohal dosnt want 2 see his daughter 2 much of a reminder of claire bla blah blah
Anthony Michael Hall: now married with three kids miserable n wondering why he never did anything daring n college years now owner of a major company very unhappy and stuck in a midlife crisis
Ally Sheedy: now owner a chain of coffee houses and owns a chain of art gallarys very successful and happy but still wishes she would have held onto andrew befor she ran off with another man who was less satisfieing and alll
Emilio Estavez: now in much pain still from many wrestling injuries he has 2 sons is divorced and and now spends his time coaching wrestling still wishes he was with allison but knows that she prolly dosnt wanna see him
they meet up with eachother at ther highschool reunion at first there drawn 2 ther groups chess club athletics burn outs rich kids etc. later they notice each other and get drawn together when they realize time is running out they decide to go back 2 allisons place to continue talking baout ther lives
dialogue
Allison_ Andy after we broke up i have never stopped thhinking of you
Andy_Alli we are to completly different people but yet i love you
Allison_Andy lets talk later im not into this whole sappy lets remember old times n get back together infront of everyone thing we'll talk late
Any_ whatever it takes
Bender_ whats goin on her are we gonna get smashed or are we gonna spend the whole night sober and boring !
of course at the end you will use dont you forget about me i mena what kind of a moron wouldnt ?