Posted
by Joel Mathis
April 17, 2006 at 7 a.m.
My dad ain't Fonzie
![][1]My father never struck me as being particularly cool when I was a kid.Oh, I thought pretty highly of him. I knew, for example, that he was the Strongest Man in the World -- and pitied the other kids who had to make do with punier, lesser dads. And my mother occasionally told me that he was the Handsomest Man in the World, which was something I didn't have an opinion about, but accepted as fact. Truth is this: When I was young, it never occured to me to dispute those assertions.But cool? Fonzie was cool; he had the leather jacket and that hitting-the-jukebox magic. My dad was locked somewhere in a solidly temperate zone - warmish, perhaps, but certainly not cool.Exhibit A: My parents' music collection. It was small. And it contained the Barry Gibbs-Barbara Streisand duet album.The prosecution rests, your honor.There were glimpses of something else going on, though. When I was in high school and bought "Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band," he and I spent a half-hour in the car as he remembered how the music sounded new in 1967. And both my parents told me their memories of seeing Kansas play at Peter Pan Park in Emporia, before Kansas became stars.So I knew there'd been a time when my dad had rocked. That time, however, was long in the prehistoric - pre-me - past.Something happened, though, as he approached 50, when my youngest sister was in college. He listened to one of her Radiohead albums. And he liked it."This is really good music," he told me.I smirked inwardly at the time. Yeah, I knew it was good. So why was he listening to it?The re-rockification of my dad continued. A couple of months ago he borrowed a White Stripes album from me, then steadfastly refused to give it back - taunted me over the phone in fact - until this last weekend."It awakens something, musically, in me that I haven't felt in a long time," he said.And that's when I figured out something: For years, decades in fact, my dad was too busy to be cool.He'd had a record collection when he married my mom, but I came along and there were bills to be paid - so the records got sold. After that, he was too busy trying to feed all of us to care about the latest thing, the newest sound. Mostly, he just needed some sleep.He doesn't have to worry about those things so much anymore. My dad can finally relax and rock a little bit. There's a new Jack White album coming out next month, with The Raconteurs, and I figure it'll make an excellent Fathers Day gift.We'll have to have a talk, though, if he wants to go into the mosh pit. [1]: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/94/Fonzie.jpg/180px-Fonzie.jpg
Comments
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hilary (anonymous) says…
...but there were planes to catch, and bills to pay....I learned to walk while he was away
bluedog (anonymous) says…
The older I've gotten, the more I respect I have for my Dad and how I was raised (he did the best he could with what he knew). Overall, I think he's a pretty cool guy. Plus, he looks like Captain Kangaroo...and that's super cool!:)
El_Borak (Bill Hoyt) says…
My dad (about 10 years older than yours) has moved from Patsy Cline and Frankie Laine to the Byrds and Moody Blues since I left home 2 decades ago. It's an improvement, I must say.
Mom had a little better taste: Baja Merimba Band and Herb Alpert. But my dad was pure goat-roper, and I hated it then and hate it now.
Though I will confess to strapping on plastic cap guns a few times for the Gunfight at OK Corral...don't tell anyone...
toreador (Michael Austin) says…
My dad always had a cool factor. Jumped out of planes in the Army, was in Vietnam, always had good army stories that kept everyone entertained. He even was in on guarding the Beatles when they played in France once and talked to Ringo. The artists in his album collection where: The Beatles, The Kinks, The Ventures, Enio Mariconi (which he would whistle the Good the Bad and the Ugly while doing housework), Steppenwolf.
Funny thing is, at the time. I thought there were a lot of uncool bits. It was only years later that I realized how cool he actually was during those times, working hard and yet finding the time to pick me up a Spiderman comic on the way home from work when I was sick.
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
Bill: You don't like Patsy Cline? I didn't think anybody couldn't like Patsy Cline.
thetomdotdot (anonymous) says…
My dad has graduated from Chopin to Enya. Believe me, thats pretty freakin cool for him. This is a guy who wore a tie to cut the lawn.
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
Dotdot: Hmmm. I gotta say, I think Chopin might've been cooler than Enya. I once owned an Enya CD, but it was the early '90s, and it was for romancin' purposes only. It was NOT cool.
El_Borak (Bill Hoyt) says…
Figure this out: I don't like Patsy Cline. My 16-year-old son, the one who plays Metallica lead riffs so well that the only way I can tell him from the real thing is an absence of vocals, thinks she's great.
Kids! What's this generation coming to anyway?
thetomdotdot (anonymous) says…
Don't let your orinoco flow.
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
Dammit, dotdot, that song's been in my head for the last hour now.
Dazie (Aileen Dingus) says…
My dad, while completely cool in his own way, was never "cool" either. His record collection contains a copy of a car race. The only thing more awful than listening to a car race on the radio was listening to one on a record.
trinity (anonymous) says…
ahhhh...i remember the saturday nights, as a kid, sitting in the car listening to the grand ol' opry on the car radio; mom HATED country "hillbilly" music, and my dad was totally in to it. she played enzo carusico(i think that's what it was), big band stuff; he was a self-taught picker, and played me merle, johnny cash, hank snow, hank thompson, and the list goes on. those are the very best memories i've got.
oh-and as for patsy-he loved her too but not nearly as much as kitty wells!
if it hadn't been for much older brothers&sister, i'd never have been exposed to jethro tull, the beatles, steppenwolf, the who...i've got the best of ALL worlds! which explains my eclectic listening habits, i go from traditional country to top 40 to easy jazz-and even found a POLKA/german music station not long ago while driving to manhattan ks.! go figure, lol...
ladylaw (Terry Bush) says…
I NEVER thought my dad was cool. But I almost always thought he was a terrific father. He knew almost everything, was fair to a fault, kept the peace at home, and worked himself to a frazzle for the family. I wanted to be just like him when I grew up. But music I learned from my Mom. She played classical music for us, and show tunes, all the time. She made sure we had piano lessons by babysitting for the teacher's kids. Her brother is/was a blue-grass/hill billy playing red-neck who taught my brother how to pick. My sisters played the records; Lead Zeplin, The Monkees, Moody Blues, Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Cat Stevens... a mix of tastes. So we had music in the house, a lot. But the nicest sounds of all, to me, were when we all sang together, gathered around the piano. All but dad. He never tried to do things he wasn't good at doing, like be cool. And I think that made him even cooler in my eyes.
thetomdotdot (anonymous) says…
Led Zeppelin. Sorry, LL, but there's certain words friends don't let friends spell wrong.
CafeSiren (anonymous) says…
Growing up, I thought my dad was the biggest dork ever. This peaked when he volunteered to coach the chess team at my high school. I never, ever, even once stopped in to say hi while he was doing that. Mortifying. And 180 degrees from cool.
And he listend to NPR. Gah! Can you imagine?
In the last decade or so (maybe slightly less than that), I've come to appreciate my father as the intellectual in our family, and he made sure to encourage all of his hell-children. Nowadays, when I visit home, dad & I will drink coffee, talk about the news (he's more moderate; I'm more of a knee-jerk leftie), and do the NYT crossword together. I find we now have a lot in common. Maybe that just means that I'm *less* cool. If so, I don't mind.
Oh yeah: and my dad was recently on "Wait, Wait, Don't tell me." Nifty.
jochan (Jocelyn Craft) says…
My dad has a little 'traditional' cool going for him... mostly in his sincere and lasting appreciation of Jimi Hendrix.
Other than that, he's got MY kind of cool ... the Monty Python, sci-fi, classical music, can-talk-for-hours-with-anyone brand of fun-loving, occasionally downright vulgar geekiness. Worst punster EVER. And I love every moment of it. Anything that makes my mother roll her eyes is right up my alley.
edie_ (anonymous) says…
I have to say this. Fonzie was NOT cool.
Instead of a greaser jacket they had him garbed up in this heavy flight jacket. He never even had a pompadour. He had a bad comb over. "Happy Days" was the worst attempt at the fifties that existed. Not to mention that there's so much great music from that era that they ignored in favor of Rock Around the Clock. Urgh. It should have been called "Pappy Days." The Fonz was more like our dads than he should have been.
Joel (Joel Mathis) says…
edie: When I was 6, I didn't know any better. Fonzie kept telling us he was cool - - aaaaaaay! -- and I believed it.
beatle919 (Marcy McGuffie) says…
Knockin' the Fonz. I tell you what.
thetomdotdot (anonymous) says…
There were real greasers around when I was a kid. I remember they were real assholes without any of the nobility. They picked on my retarded brother unmercifully. They were in their twenties and he was a teenager. If thats cool, then I'll take the Fonz. Or my dad.
Sara (anonymous) says…
My most embarrassing moment as a preteen came via my father -- we were waiting at a stoplight in the family's paneled station wagon when a low-rider car pulled up next to us, bass thumping. My dad turned up the symphony we were listening to as loud as the radio would go, and tried to rock to the beat. I wanted to die. Now, though, I think that was pretty cool.
ladylaw (Terry Bush) says…
Thanx thetomdotdot...I never could spell worht a s***. And all this just goes to show...cool, hip, in style...it is all based upon personal points of view - and what is "in" can & does change over time. Dads and moms probably aren't supposed to seem cool to their children (while they are busy parenting). As I look back, a lot of the kids who had the really "Cool" parents turned out pretty errrrr messed up as adults.
edie_ (anonymous) says…
thetomdot: If Fonzie had tortured people with disabilities he would have really plummeted on the cool scale. When I say Fonzie wasn't "cool" I mean that the network's half-assed attempt at his costuming along with his horrible taste in music and dullard character did nothing to convince me that he really would have been able to kick off the jukebox with his fist and attract seven females at the snap of his fingers. Now Suzi Quatro as Leather Tuscadero? SHE was cool!
As are my dad and my dad-in-law (well we're not married so I guess he's a dad-outlaw). Thank god they never tried to be like the Fonz!
thetomdotdot (anonymous) says…
Agreed.
thetomdotdot (anonymous) says…
Joel:
I have a confession to make.
Its about Enya...
JohnB (anonymous) says…
I found your blog via 3 O'Clock in the Morning's blog carnival, and I'm happy to say that I did.
My dad died 25 years ago this month, so your post allowed me a bit of mental memorializing.
It really just as Mark Twain says: "The older I get, the smarter my father becomes." The cooler, too, for that matter.