Love of my life

A quick note: After posting this blog, I'm taking a two-week hiatus from Cup O'Joel for what I think are obvious reasons. We get married July 22. I'm a lucky man._The love of my life belches with utter abandon.It's this kind of sonic barrier-shattering _brrrrap! that invades your thoughts and very soul. She doesn't hold back, ever, that I know of, but thankfully her momma brought her up right: She always says "Excuse me" afterward.It is, oddly, one of the reasons I love her. She does darn near everything with a carefree embrace of life's joys.She slaps her knee when she laughs - something I didn't know real people do.She sings along, out loud, with musicals at the movie theater.She carries on a conversation with just about every animal she meets. No cat in East Lawrence is a stranger to my sweetie.She looks a little bit like Joan Cusack, the actress, when she smiles and her nose crinkles. (Or perhaps I should say: Joan Cusack looks like her.)And she loves me with a fervor far in excess of anything I have ever deserved. Every man who has ever been loved by a good woman, I suspect, knows he is unworthy.Thankfully, they keep on loving us.The love of my life was unexpected. I had, a couple of years after turning thirty, made a kind of peace with my bachelorhood - taking cross-country vacations by myself, for example. Shortly before I met her, I moved into a house far too small to ever share; I was surrendering to solitude.A couple of weeks later, I wandered over to my new neighbor's house, and there she was, visiting her sister. It all happened very quickly after that. I tend to be a skeptic about such things, but I understand now why most people believe in fate where romance is concerned.Now I cannot imagine my life without her.Next weekend, barring some colossal screwup on my part, we're getting married. She brings to our union a cat I have unexpectedly grown to enjoy, and a family that I have gratefully grown to love.The love of my life did not sign on to be the subject of public journalism; you'll be getting no "Here's the crazy thing my wife did this week!" dispatches from me. For that, both you and she will be grateful.But I wanted to tell the world - proclaim from the very mountaintops, if possible - how much I adore her: The blue eyes, the porcelain skin, the dimples, the way she smiles at me when she knows I love her, the singing voice so beautiful I have sobbed upon hearing it - and, most importantly, the sharp and exploring mind.I'm grateful for her. I love her.God bless you, sweetie. I'm glad we're getting married.


CafeSiren 15 years, 11 months ago

Hot DAMN, Joel -- That's beautiful. May we all be so fortunate to someday inspire and return such depth of feeling.

Congratulations, my friend -- to both of you.

alm77 15 years, 11 months ago

You'll want to print this off and keep it for a couple of reasons. One, it may be good to have on hand to get you out of the dog house someday. Two, in those moments when you don't seems to notice that she shines so brightly it may help you remember why you're together in the first place.

I'd say "Good Luck" but luck has nothing to do with it. Work hard and hold on. Hope your days together are long and full of love.

OtherJoel 15 years, 11 months ago


My brother gave me some great advice before I got married and I'll take a moment to pass it along. You only need to know three phrases to make a marraige work:

"You were right."

"I was wrong."

"I'm sorry."

Seriously, I wish you both the best. It's a very cool thing.

greyhawk 15 years, 11 months ago

Congratulations! Blessings upon you both! May your life together be long and happy!

Rigg 15 years, 11 months ago

Good luck, Joel. And congratulations.

Aufbrezeln Eschaton 15 years, 11 months ago

Fuck you, Joel, you made me cry. Good luck, congratulations, all that shit, and I hope you end up as happy as I am. Seriously.

cee 15 years, 11 months ago

That's wonderful!

On the eve of my wedding six years ago this week, I received the following advice, which I think is pretty wonderful. Never end the day without reminding your spouse (and yourself) of the reason why you married her. In other words, tell her you love her and mean it. Even if you two are in the middle of a disagreement, this will keep you from going to bed mad.

Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness together.

Terry Bush 15 years, 11 months ago

Yea, I'm with Misty - I cry when touched. I think all women (sane ones) want to be loved like you apparently love your sweetie. Maybe men too, but I'm not so sure (I've known some guys who ran screaming from the love of a good woman...).

You are worthy of such love. In part b/c you appreciate it so much.

Hold onto each other tight, forever, and never let go. A true marriage is a thing of beauty and might. We are all humbled and helped by those who accomplish such a relationship for a lifetime.

Blessings on you both (I am hugging you - feel it?).

Marcy McGuffie 15 years, 11 months ago

Congratulations! Very sweet and touching. I'm so happy for you!

Good gawd, July 22 is a popular day to get hitched...

chrys anthalbee 15 years, 11 months ago

"Every man who has ever been loved by a good woman, I suspect, knows he is unworthy.

Thankfully, they keep on loving us."

Congratulations Joel and soon-to-be wife! Heartfelt best wishes for you both.

Aileen Dingus 15 years, 11 months ago


happy dance for all those about to be wed

leslie 15 years, 11 months ago

Absolutely lovely--and J. talked my ear off with similar sentiments toward you Thursday night. There is a happy life ahead for you two.

Ten years from now, I look forward to hearing how sublime it feels to be even deeper in love than on your wedding day. I know it seems impossible now, but let me tell you, it happens, and it's awesome.

Tim vonHolten 15 years, 11 months ago

wow, you got all the sentimental crap out of the way right off the bat. interesting maneuver. you can get away with forgetting a good two or three anniversaries after this, you clever little prick. nice going.

Joel 15 years, 11 months ago

Damn, Tim, you caught me in the act.

Thanks, everybody, for all your nice comments. I'm priviliged to have your well wishes.

thetomdotdot 15 years, 11 months ago

Congratulations from another fortunate man.

"you can get away with forgetting a good two or three anniversaries after this..."

Don't ever test this.

lazz 15 years, 11 months ago

Joel, sincere best wishes for many happy years in each other's company. You're a lucky man. Good for ya, pal. Enjoy.

minormom 15 years, 11 months ago

Joel.... this is your old buddy from SE Kansas... best wishes to both of you. Knowing you as I do, she is very lucky, also. I hope she appreciates you. I was in Lawrence last week for a wedding myself. tried to get in touch with you for some coffee/lunch, but wasn't successful. Enjoy your big day!!

clayhill70 15 years, 11 months ago

After 32 years of marriage it's still like coming home to a new puppy, that sometimes leaves a pile on the floor. Much happiness to you both.

Levi Chronister 15 years, 11 months ago

Congrats, Joel. I wish I could be there, but know that I and the rest of the former LJWers will be thinking of you and wishing you and your beloved the best :)

belchinginstructor 15 years, 11 months ago


It was a beautifully written article that filled me with much pride and gratitude that you will now be a part of our family. See you tomorrow and I look forward to Saturday.

PS. I am available for private lessons at $75.00/quarter hour while I am in Lawrence; gastric activating materials not included.

baldwinCITY 15 years, 11 months ago

Joel, you brought a few tears to a jaded old divorcees eyes...Best Wishes to you and your bride! Between you and BillyBob's "Couples", just might have to rethink quite a few things, lol... Have a FUN wedding

gil 15 years, 11 months ago

Now THAT was sappy.

How delightful to see it.

All best to you both.

thetomdotdot 15 years, 11 months ago

I felt the earth move last night. What was that?

legoman 15 years, 11 months ago

I always thought your self-sabotage skills were a lot better than that ;-) but all the best, I am happy for you two

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