September 25, 2006
![][1]Last time I checked, I am not a teenage girl. I've seen myself in the mirror, more than a few times, and I know that there's no way that my bearded, chunky, thin-haired visage will ever be mistaken for, say, a cheerleader.(Perhaps we shouldn't dwell on that mental image too long, eh?)So I'm troubled by a desire that has overtaken me in recent weeks: I am seriously contemplating buying the new [Justin Timberlake][2] album.Go ahead, mock me. I need your ridicule to keep me on the straight and narrow.Timberlake - in case you don't know - used to be one of the N*Sync, one of those insufferably cute, insufferably bland pop "bands" a few years back that no self-respecting adult male would be caught dead listening to. You know these bands. They all have the same roster: The Rebel. The Mature One. The Young Guy. All this, part of a calculated effort to get teen girls to spend wads and wads of their parents' cash.Timberlake, then in his teens, was The Young Guy. Then he went solo. Put out an album a couple of years ago with a couple of surprisingly catchy songs, and ended up ripping off Janet Jackson's clothes at the Super Bowl. I figured his 15 minutes were about over.Now he's got a new album. You've probably heard the first song, "SexyBack." It's really, really catchy, even though it makes almost no sense whatsoever. "I'm bringing sexy back," he sings, as though we're a nation of Goody Proctors. The rest of the songs, from what I can tell, are pretty good, too - Timberlake (or his producer) has been listening to a lot of Prince lately.I might be able to embrace this, except: Timberlake used to be in a boy band. And we all know what happens to boy bands and other teen idols - they end up washed up, the butt of jokes. Think Donny Osmond. Think David Cassidy. Think about New Kids on The Block.Donnie Wahlberg was in NKOTB (as they were also known). His brother, Mark, was Marky Mark. They still have thriving, vibrant careers -- as actors. Nobody would take them seriously as musicians at this stage of their careers; this, as far as I am concerned, is good and proper.Yet I occasionally find myself bouncing down the street, humming "SexyBack" to myself. "You're burning up for me and that's a fact," I sing, on the treadmill at the gym.So I might break down. I might buy the Justin Timberlake album.But I'm totally canceling my subscription to Tiger Beat.Correction: This blog originally said Justin was in Backstreet Boys. He wasn't. But don't you totally see how I could make that mistake? [1]: http://www.vh1.com/sitewide/flipbooks/img/movies/people/t/timberlake_justin/150x223.jpg [2]: http://www.justintimberlake.com/
Comments
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morganalefay (anonymous) says...
I say "Go for it, Joel!" Be a rebel yourself and buy the CD. Then cruise up and down Mass with your windows down, playing "SexyBack" loud enough for people to be slightly annoyed, yet intrigued. Maybe you'll do other like-minded men a service by going public about buying this CD. They'll suddenly feel like it's OK to admit that they were closet Timberlake fans, but now Joel has opened the door for them and they can be free - free to be a Timberlake fan and proud of it. Carpe diem, Joel!
September 25, 2006 at 10:09 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
cvillehawk (anonymous) says...
Considering that he was able to dramatically extend his 15 minutes by being the one who was pawing at Janet Jackson's breast on national TV, I suspect it's in his best interests to act like we're a nation of Goody Proctors. He certainly knows that GP runs the FCC, and that most of us repressed Americanos just love to have a naughty secret.
September 25, 2006 at 10:18 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
jcroft (Jeff Croft) says...
It's sad that I know this, but JT was actually in N*SYNC, not The Backstreet Boys. :)
I'm not a big fan of SexyBack, but I do have to give him some props for trying to do something a little different with pop music. It's not necessarily that I think it's good, but at least it's not more of the same.
September 25, 2006 at 10:20 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Joel (Joel Mathis) says...
Gosh, Jeff, you're right....
I'm kind of proud to have made that mistake, though. Though you could also understand why I made that mistake, I think.
September 25, 2006 at 10:45 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
beatle919 (Marcy McGuffie) says...
Hell, you're telling me NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys aren't one in the same? Next thing ya know, I'll be hearing that Christina and Britney are indeed two different singers...
September 25, 2006 at 11:19 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Dazie (Aileen Dingus) says...
Marcy how could you?? Cristina actually has pipes whereas Britney has... um... what does she have again?
September 25, 2006 at 1:26 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
wbabbit (Will Babbit) says...
Boobies!
September 25, 2006 at 2:21 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Joel (Joel Mathis) says...
Ah, yes. High-class joint we have in here.
September 25, 2006 at 2:44 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
junkhand (anonymous) says...
the last 3-4 tracks on the album are just interesting enough cheese-pop to keep me interested, but the rest of the album is very blah.
September 25, 2006 at 4:28 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Doug (anonymous) says...
Joel,
Forget about Justin Timberlake and "Sexy Back"... seriously, what the hell is that?
Isn't anyone else devestated by the news that Popozoa is not being included on the new Kevin Federline, I'm sorry, K-Fed album due out at any moment?
Seriously Joel, if you want to go gangsta... you gotta go K-Fed!
September 25, 2006 at 4:32 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Joel (Joel Mathis) says...
Nah. JT is doing duets with Snoop Dogg. Doesn't get any more gangsta than that....
Caution: Not necessarily family friendly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzRBJR...
September 25, 2006 at 4:51 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Dazie (Aileen Dingus) says...
Thanks Will. :)
September 25, 2006 at 8:06 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
wbabbit (Will Babbit) says...
Glad I could help out.
September 26, 2006 at 11:38 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
beatle919 (Marcy McGuffie) says...
I planned on answering...but, I'm afraid I wouldn't have come up with THAT distinguishing factor...
September 26, 2006 at 11:46 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
cutny (anonymous) says...
You're kidding right? Give it a moment, and the catchiness will pass. I think it breaks certain laws of nature and newlyweds for "straight" men to buy a Justin Timberlake recording. Seriously, I'm a fag and I'm twice the man Justin Timberlake is. And what's with all the background info? It's like you WANTED to tell us about him. Go buy some Prince, man and listen to it with your beloved.
September 26, 2006 at 3:28 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
pissykitty (Melissa Lynch) says...
JTs last album was indeed pretty catchy. I really, really liked "Rock Your Body" because he sounded so much like Michael Jackson.
That boy can cry me a river anyday, too. Yumm-mmy!
September 26, 2006 at 3:40 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Joel (Joel Mathis) says...
cutny: I also like musicals. Go figure. I do, however, accept that you're twice the man that JT is.
September 26, 2006 at 5:58 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
katnip (Deb Townsend) says...
2 things, I am twice the man Justin Timberlake is and Prince is no paragon of manliness (although he is my all time favorite musician/performer).
I am risking dish duty for months by telling this, but its worth it! One day I heard a strange noise coming from the bathroom (don't get any ideas). My newly wed husband was in the shower singing. He is a music educator and quite the musician on his own, but he's no vocalist, so I was curious. Not wanting to disturb his little ditty, I peeked through the crack in the door, and while I couldnt see anything for all of the steam, I did hear, to the melody of JT's "Rock Your Body," my husband squeak in his newly discovered falsetto "I'm gonna wash my body." Well, my cover was blown as I stumbled into the bathroom and laughed so hard that I had to perch on the commode in fear of laughter induced incontinence!
September 27, 2006 at 9:29 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Joel (Joel Mathis) says...
Black Lab: Welcome to commenting!
Katnip: I really, really hope you're not twice the man that JT is, since I've known you as a woman since high school. If so, I'm going to start re-examining my high school memories verrrrrrry carefully.
September 27, 2006 at 11:44 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
cvillehawk (anonymous) says...
"I'm gonna wash my body"
Now THAT is funny!
September 27, 2006 at 2:07 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
1981 (Jason Barr) says...
I bought it the day it came out.
September 27, 2006 at 3:28 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
1981 (Jason Barr) says...
I file it under "pop rap fetish"
September 27, 2006 at 3:29 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Joel (Joel Mathis) says...
Goodness gracious, there's a blast from the L.com blogging past...
JBarr, how're you doin'?
September 27, 2006 at 4:16 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
katnip (Deb Townsend) says...
Ok, you're right Joel, only 1.5 the man. Its just that my voice is lower, my shoulders are broader....."I know all there is to know about the crying game..." HA HA! I just got a priceless WTF look from the husband!
September 27, 2006 at 6:01 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
edie_ (anonymous) says...
Joel sweetie, I hate to tell you this but there is a WRONG KIND OF BAD TASTE and this is it. You can buy whatever albums you want, but when the bottom hits and you need an intervention just leak the code word to your lady and have her bring you over. Our deprogramming services are complete with cocktails.
September 27, 2006 at 6:36 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
rednekbuddha (Kelly Powell) says...
I allways thought of you as a cheerleader...in a klingon on top of wesley crusher type way....smooches big guy!
September 28, 2006 at 1:39 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
nicole (anonymous) says...
im sure its good. but of course u know his music is marketed to sheeple and from what i've heard about you, you are definitely a sheep, so embrace the mainstream like most people do, keep watching your mtv and overprocessed carefully crafted radio friendly brain washing dribble. but i respect you for being true to yourself.
...and im sure you were swooning over george michael when he was peddling diet coke, but do u still have his album?
i dont know what my point is........but if u like dance music get some other stuff too like: Lance Desardi, Alexi Delano, Kaskade, Jamiroquai, Inland Knights, JT Donaldson,
sorry bout giving you flak since i dont even know u ...but you knew you were going to get some shite for this blog right?
September 28, 2006 at 3:08 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Joel (Joel Mathis) says...
Oh, yes, I knew I was going to get some crap. I've not been able to walk down Mass Street without getting some wisecracks this week -- though the "sheep" thing is new.
I'd like to think I'm the kind of sheep that picks and chooses for myself what I like - some of it more mainstream, some less; and I suspect that if avoiding the mainstream is your inviolable goal, then you're simply a sheep of a different sort.
September 28, 2006 at 9:30 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
leslie (Leslie vonHolten) says...
Joel, aren't you comforted to know some folks have enough time on their hands to worry, fret, and judge the music we buy?
I'll take a friendly, articulate sheep any day over a Jamiroquai CD.
September 28, 2006 at 11:13 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
thetomdotdot (anonymous) says...
Sheeple is the new word for people on the 'other side'. I kinda like it. It rolls a bit smoother than wacko.
I don't know much about Justin Timberlake except that he's the cheap ass superbowl screwing up media whore without the breast.
Anyway, listen to the music you like and buy whatever you want without apology. There is no straight and narrow.
This whole thing reminds me that, back in my day, no one would admit to being a Carpenter's fan. I wonder who bought all those albums?
September 28, 2006 at 11:15 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Dazie (Aileen Dingus) says...
I didn't have any Carpenters, but I had the Village People!
It was the 70's. An entire decade based on horrible taste.
STOP JUDGING ME!
September 28, 2006 at 1:20 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
thetomdotdot (anonymous) says...
He, he, he. I refuse to admit that I could recite YMCA verbatim if softened up with the right blend of alcohol and qualudes. I also refuse to admit why I even know that.
AAAAaagggggghhhhh! Now I can't hear anything else. Help!! Quick. Quick. Led Zepellin.
Bwaaaaaeedada dit (chung chung ...)Bwaaaaaeedada dit
(chung chung...)Bwaaaaaeedada bleetle Bwaaaaaeedada dit
Chung chung chuuuunnnggg
Dancing days are here again
as the summer evenings grow
Bwaa Dat dat dat dat dat dwaaaaaaaa
I got my flower, I got my power
I got a woman who knows...
September 28, 2006 at 2:04 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
lori (anonymous) says...
I think it would be rather, uh, sheepish? sheeplish? , of someone to NOT buy a certain album for the reason that it doesn't fit what type of music one is or is not supposed to like.
JT, not really for me, though I haven't heard his new release. He had me cracking up when he hosted SNL several years back, though, and make me respect him as an arTIST a little more. Of course, I also thought that after seeing the Rock on SNL, so what do I know.
September 28, 2006 at 2:55 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
cutny (anonymous) says...
OK, Joel...It's been a few days. Come clean....did you buy it? Is it still running through your head? We all have our guilty pleasures. Mine are/were Adam Ant and Aldo Nova. Ow! Rock on! I enjoy your blog. Have a good weekend.
September 29, 2006 at 8:26 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
thetomdotdot (anonymous) says...
Lori,
Lets call it sheepulist.
September 29, 2006 at 9:07 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )