Bad Reviews: "300"

You know what I really like? A savage review of a puffed-up movie.So I'm unveiling a regular feature here at Cup O' Joel where I share some of my favorite lines from bad reviews -- on an as-needed basis.Today: ["300"][1][From the New York Times:][2] "300" is about as violent as "Apocalypto" and twice as stupid. Adapted from a graphic novel by Frank Miller and Lynn Varley, it offers up a bombastic spectacle of honor and betrayal, rendered in images that might have been airbrushed onto a customized van sometime in the late 1970s.[From Slate:][3] If 300, the new battle epic based on the graphic novel by Frank Miller and Lynn Varley, had been made in Germany in the mid-1930s, it would be studied today alongside The Eternal Jew as a textbook example of how race-baiting fantasy and nationalist myth can serve as an incitement to total war.And from the [Roanoke Times:][4] You probably heard about it in school. What the school books didn't tell you, but "300" does, is that every Spartan soldier spoke strictly in jingoisms, slaughtered dozens of enemy fighters before falling himself, and sported perfectly delineated pecs, abs and delts.My work here is done. [1]: [2]: [3]: [4]:


Aufbrezeln Eschaton 16 years ago

I'm not seeing where the "bad" reviews are. . . .

So it's no Citizen Kane. Who cares? I'm going to see a bunch of sweaty guys kill each other in the most violent and bloody means possible. Sounds like I'm going to get my wish.

scary_manilow 16 years ago

Yeah, I got no room in my budget to support such a blatantly pro-war, homophobic, Nazi superman-ogling chunk of tripe. If Frank Miller's fascist idealism has truly spawned the next generation of popcorn movies, then the terrorists have already won.

Jill Ensley 16 years ago

I probably won't see it anytime soon, but I like it strictly for the visuals. Looks like a damn painting and that makes me happy.

j_d 16 years ago

You don't think that Slate piece was just a tad... hysterical?

I mean, I probably won't see the movie -- because A) I'm not a movie guy, and B) I'm straight, but... just a little?

In other news, I'm listening to a mash-up of Jay Z's "99 Problems" and Nena's "99 Luftballoons". See the big e for details.

Joel 16 years ago

Well, it wouldn't be fun to read if it wasn't hysterical.

Caterina Benalcazar 16 years ago

What was your opinion of the movie, Joel? You know, you'll never get banned in China if you don't start declaring a few "controversial" opinions. 300 is the place to start..."I think 300 was __ (insert adjective here)"

do it, wuss.

James Bennett 16 years ago

Roeper had a great line: "This is the kind of movie that throws babies off a cliff, literally."His most excellent summary: "If you thought "Gladiator" was a bit too stingy with the bloodshed, if you felt "Sin City" could have been more stylized, if you hate it when the masses refer to graphic novels as "comic books," this is your day."If I hadn't already been planning to see it, that would have sealed the deal for me.

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