VD: It's Not Just for Lovers Anymore

So, yeah, Valentine's Day is coming and I seriously don't want to hear one more whiney person talk about "Singles Awareness Day" (ever notice that the acronym is "SAD"?") Cause I've got something to say to you "single" folks out there. And that's this: Get over it.I know way too many single gals and fellas that stay single because they are so focused on it. They complain about being single. They rage against Valentine's Day. Being single becomes their identity. This self pity perpetuates a vicious circle. You're single, so you're focused on you, which makes you unappealing, which makes you stay single.Whatever you do on Saturday the 14th, don't sit at home and have movie night with your single friends talking about how much "Love stinks". Words are very powerful. Attitudes are too. Don't keep affirming these mantras, cause they suck the love right out of you.You see, Valentine's Day is about LOVE, so, LOVE somebody. Call your Grandma, babysit for your not-single friends. Buy your nieces and nephews some of those awful pink and red stuffed animals and more chocolate than they can eat in a week. Volunteer at a shelter, or soup kitchen, or political campaign. Do something for someone at church. Get out there and focus on others. When you're focused on others, you become less self serving and way more attractive.Take my advice and by this time next year, you'll be beating off suitors with a stick.


slang4d 12 years, 8 months ago

Being single is awesome actually. My money, energy and time are all mine? I can do whatever I want, whenever I want? Heck yeah! Oh, wait, that means I'm self-absorbed and will forever be single. I'm not whiny about it (in fact I celebrate it), but I do think it's understandable. It's viewed as abnormal if one isn't married or hasn't been married by 30. Even if you enjoy being single there is pressure to be coupled. And there's no reason to be pressured because everyone is not going to find the right person (and there are so many examples around us of people doing it all wrong). So you live it up single, take up some hobbies and enjoy your life for what it is. I would like to see these suitors one would be beating off with a stick. There isn't a huge market here if you're over the age of 25 and what does exist is rather disappointing. I suppose if I had incredibly low self-esteem I could find some dude that lives in his parent's basement, plays video games 12 hours a day or has absolutely no goals in life. Gee, that sounds really appealing. Also, I disagree that it's a day to express love- one should express love year-round.

alm77 12 years, 8 months ago

My point is being whiney is not understandable. It's unattractive and a symptom of self absorption (also not attractive). Secondly, I am over the age of 25, I'm married and my husband and I know lots of great guys in this town who are single and not living in a basement or playing video games. However, most of them are busy with their careers. Either way, no guy/girl wants to rescue some dame/dude from her/his pity party. "Also, I disagree that it's a day to express love- one should express love year-round." By loving year round you wouldn't be disagreeing that any day is a day to express love.

MyName 12 years, 8 months ago

It's just another quaint holiday that's been marketed to death. I don't understand why I should do anything different on VD, if I'm single, than I would for Secretary's day, if I don't have a secretary. It's not like Mother's Day, at least everyone has one of those, unless they're orphaned or something.

alm77 12 years, 8 months ago

myname, you crack me up. I don't see it that way. I guess it comes from my worldview. There's lots of CRAP that happens everywhere we look. Whether it's child abuse, AIDS, malaria, lack of water, starving orphans or blood diamonds, there is always a cause, and even some lost causes. I love Valentine's Day for the same reason I love Christmas. I allow myself to take a respite from the gloom and doom and simply enjoy the people God gave me in my immediate sphere of influence. Everyone should take those reprieves. I just listed some suggestions for those who need to see the holiday as an opportunity to do good and not another "reminder" of some perceived (not actual) deficit. The love you celebrate on February 14th doesn't have to be romance.

Matt Toplikar 12 years, 8 months ago

Whether you're single or you're with someone, you have to admit there are some things about the way Valentine's Day is celebrated that can be kind of annoyingly manufactured. Still, you make a good point. Most people I know who are down on the holiday just enjoy being contrarians. Just don't be too harsh on us single folks who don't like being reminded that we're not getting any love. What kind of Valentine's Day spirit is that?

alm77 12 years, 8 months ago

hehe. Point taken. ;) I wasn't trying to be harsh on all the singles, just the ones who aren't aware of what they sound like with all their whining. YES, it is over commercialized!! I agree. But showing love doesn't necessarily mean buying into the gawd-awful 15 pound teddy bears or decorating your kitchen in hearts. Sometimes all you gotta give is yourself, either your time or your attention, to anyone that matters to you and it doesn't cost you a thing!

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