Fear of a Neutral Planet

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Counting Blessings . . .

Brandy. It's what's for breakfast!

Perspective

It's a big universe, and we're not.

Wallowing

Daddy is taller than the sky, stronger than the storms. Daddy picks you up when you fall, he scares the monsters out of your closet. The world falls apart when your Daddy dies.

Kindergarten, or, God Help Us All

Public school it is, then. Please excuse me while I go vomit and breathe into a paper bag for a while.

Race and Family, or “You say her grandfather is WHAT?”

“Well, you can’t control who your in-laws marry. As long as your kids don’t pick up any bad habits.” “Yeah, like voting for Sarah Palin. They ever pull that shit on me, I’ll beat them senseless.”

It's been a while, hasn't it?

In which I blather mindlessly about getting fat and breeding.

Babies Make You Stupid

"We'll discuss your liver transplant options in a moment, but first, has anyone ever talked to you about the amazing products Mary Kay has to offer?"

RABIES!!!!!!!

Even if my cats *were* rabid, I'm pretty sure they'd still be acting more rationally than this guy.

Fairies Wear Boots, or, My Adventures As a Reluctant Rennie

If we hung the pirates quayside, burned the gypsies at the stake, and put the whores on display in stocks and scold's bridles-that's history, baby, and I'll bet the admittance returns would be a damn sight more profitable, to boot.

Announcement.

My husband has super-sperm.

Serendipity

I don't have much nice to say about Divinity right now, but PostSecret is still in my cool book.

Social conscience says WHAT?

I used to think that my own story was the only one I was meant to make heard. I now realize that this was narcissistic bullshit.

"Excuse me, but I think your kid needs therapy . . ."

Call me overprotective, but I don't want my daughter playing with a kid who's only about two years and a misplaced hunting knife away from mutilating neighborhood pets.

Dear Headcount . . .

No, I don't think everybody should vote. Especially not everybody who shows up at a 311 show.

Cowardice

There's a dead bunny in my kitchen, and he's not even big enough to eat. Bummer.

Leave Nancy, Marie, and Esther ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's not "brainwashing", folks, that's fucking CLASS.

Art Troll!

Epic Troll Alert

Seriously?

Jumping on cars and flashing your goods at random cameras, I can sort of understand. Sending a dude to the hospital during the biggest damn celebration in decades, though . . . WTF?

Domestic Violence Theatre

No matter how badly I was lost, I should have known I was on Troost, just by the car in front of me.

Banned From TV

The list just keeps getting longer . . .

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