Lawrence.com

" You'd be amazed what fantastic service you get at a restaraunt when your table boasts a gorgeous, charming, blue-eyed blonde who blows kisses at your waiter every time he walks by. Even if she is still in diapers."

Um....

Oh, never mind. I'm not going to make that joke.

Good gawd, girl. Take care of yourself. Way to go for finishing NaNoWriMo...that's somethin' I'm too damned lazy to even consider. Well, then there's the issue that I probably couldn't come up with a decent plotline...or any of that jazz.

The have chococlate lucky charms? Where the hell have i been? Are they kinda like count chocula? Kiddie cereal...yum.

"I'd rather postpone my nomination for Worst Mother of the Year until I can coach fully-enunciated obsceneties out of Penny's mouth"

This will most likely happen in traffic. My little buddy started saying "Oh, you fuckit!" whenever I hit the brakes. I don't know how he got that out of what I actually say, but the salient word was still there, plain as day. I had to really act like I didn't care and try to convince him I was saying "bucket" in order to get him to stop before gramma heard.

Ha. I just heard my sister Lois utter these words (while watching a Chief's game on TV in the presence of her grandchildren)

"Got Dandruff!! Some of it itches!!"

Say that real fast and mad; you will get the idea of how it sounds....

Now try "Son of a Bisquit" really fast.

I taught my son (Trey) that no words were "Bad" in and of themselves. However, society could (and had) assigned negative connotations to certain words or phrases. E.g. we could all agree that the word "Blue" was a curse word, and it would become one. I also told him that cursing, like many things, can become a habit. And some people have a very hard time breaking habits, if/when they want to do so. So, I encouraged to either not begin cursing, or to learn self-restraint so that he didn't let loose with a string of bad words when he least wanted to offend persons within ear shot. He rarely curses. However, to this day, I have to use a lot of self control not to let fly with the words I first learned to say in order to stop feeling like such an outsider goody-two-shoes among my peers. So, if Penny learns any bad words, it is most likely going to be from the females in her family...... Or Snoop.

Hehe, your last comment reminds me of a story a past professor told me. Her son Nick grew up in rural Pennsylvania, and had literally never seen a black person except for on TV. They both got onto an elevator in Philadelphia, and three black people got on with them.

Nick looked at the three people, screwed his face up to think about it for a minute, and then belted out in song:

"Movin' on up! To the East Side! To a DEEE-Lux apartment...in the SKYYYYYY!!!"

Luckily the elevator crowd found it funny.

P.S. This is Ted from NaNo.

My children are fully aware of the eff word. Mainly because we recently acquired a kitten, and when said kitten knocks a full can of Coke onto the new carpet and unfinished wood of the bedside table, they learn new ways of utilizing the eff word.

Also, when you discover a six year old sneaking into his brother's room at night to steal toys, "Goshdarnit, boy!" does not quite have the desired effect.

I walked in on her sitting there, with a lapfull of candy-coated crack, an incriminating bit of chocolate-flavored styrofoam sticking out of one nostril, grinning maniacally in total Scarface mode. Goddamn, I love that child.<<<

I can just visualize the Hallmark card for that scene. <<<>>> Good stuff, thanks!

I am STILL laughing over the "moven on up" song story! That's great! And you can bet the folks in the elevator are still telling that story themselves!

Kids learn what they are taught. And their teachers' aren't always their parents. In fact, their parents are sometimes the least of their influences.

Knowing this, I tried to keep my kid by my side for as long as I could, so I could help "filter" the messages he was getting. But I knew better then to try to keep him in a bubble. My job as his parent was to teach hime all kinds of survival skills, as best I could. That included introduction to all kinds of ideas or foods or people - not all of which I understood or liked myself. So he got to taste sweet cereal, occassionally, in the hopes he wouldn't gorge on it when he got old enough to buy it for himself. However, despite the nearly 100% gourmet and/or organic diet he ate as a child, he now LOVES things like Captain Crunch (shudder). But he learned what he needed to survive in this world, and the next. Some how I always knew he'd be OK.