September 2, 2003
Last fall I took the class Sociology of Sex Roles. Because the course title contained the neon flashing word "sex," an unusual amount of males, even football players and the like, unwittingly signed up for the class and so sat through three days a week of feminist discourse.It was the only time I've received women's studies credit in an evenly divided class. Other WS courses I've taken always consist of about thirty WEAC members (Women's Empowerment Action Coalition) and the token male. He is a non-threatening hetero who finds console in women and does not subscribe to Maxim or Stuff. The bar is high for these brave souls. One ill-phrased comment could potentially sic about twenty or so womyn, on his ass, fists raised among the high-pitched sound of war woops. It would be a Blake Hall bloodbath. Sex roles for beginners lesson number one: the man who acts in ways traditionally viewed as feminine, often times is labeled a fag; the worst insult for sexually insecure, homophobic men (note: the last part is, obviously, my own analysis). I cannot single-handedly break down sex and gender role barriers, but I am doing my small part to eradicate this mindset one wine bottle at a time. I say: straight men can be affectionate with each other and remain adamant vagina-lovers.One of my roommates left for a semester in Pederno, Italy (ciao, bunny) and arranged a series of going away parties, girls' nights out--events to reminisce during and cry at when sad. On one of these occasions a few weeks ago, my friends and I sat, boy-girl-boy-girl, post a few bottles of wine and one 40 oz., pre Mass St. It was at that point, our party turned orgy a la seventh grade.And what better use of empty, jumbo bottles of Beringer than spin-the-bottle? Really.I was rather enjoying my role as kissing slut, when a boy spun and -- to his utter horror -- the bottlenose unmistakably pointed to another boy. It's simply mathematical odds. If you have three red marbles and three blue marbles is a cup, what are the chances of drawing two blue marbles? About 49 percent better than getting two hot, straight men to kiss on the lips.They hesitated, and laughed nervously and then flat out refused. God forbid they would be called gay. No, not that! Anything but that.So the three red marbles started in: "All us girls kissed." "It feels the same." "What, are you scared you are going to like it?" "Prove to us that you are comfortable with your sexuality."Then came the reverse psychology. "Fine, don't do it." "We understand that you feel it is a threat to your straightness." "We don't know why you are making such a big deal about it." And then it happened. It wasn't magic. But on that balcony, two guys kissed each other on pursed lips.The wall did not come crashing down. But I think we took a sledgehammer and put hole right in the middle, where a straight man can look through to see another with his lips puckered and not be scared.
Comments
lawrence.com does not necessarily agree with comments posted below - responsibility lies with the relevant user alone. Read our full policy.
Brian (anonymous) says...
As one of those token males in a WS class (Women and Politics) , I have to say I enjoyed it a lot more than my other classes last semester. The level of intelligent discourse was much higher than other mid-sized lectures I've taken. Everyone had an opinion, everybody called out each other when they didn't like what was being said. Sure, I had to duck down everyonce and a while and bite my tongue. But those are the breaks in life. Plus, being a white, middle-class male and being the overwhelming minority in the class is something that is very rare to experience and well worth the challenge.
September 2, 2003 at 1:38 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dex (anonymous) says...
ooh ooh! a math problem! the chances of drawing 2 blue balls from the cup (assuming we're not replacing a ball after grabbing it) is 20%, which is 49% more than ... what?
September 2, 2003 at 1:43 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Shelby (anonymous) says...
So, the fact that I have no plans on ever kissing another man on the lips makes me homophobic and insecure? Maybe I just DON'T WANT TO DO IT because IT WOULD FEEL WEIRD.
September 2, 2003 at 2:43 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Shelby (anonymous) says...
5/10 * 4/10 = 20/100 or 20%?
Is that right Dex?
September 2, 2003 at 3:17 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Shelby (anonymous) says...
To risk wearing out my welcome by pulling a three-in-a-row, I'll admit that I had a WS class ("From Goddesses to Witches: the Womyn of Premodern Europe"). To my surprise, multiple times I cringed right after questioning (aloud) the anti-male ideals that were seemingly embraced by some of the material, and my comments were welcomed and acknowledged and, for the most part, concurred with! It turned out to be a pretty enjoyable class and I learned a thing or two about stuff and things.
September 2, 2003 at 4:09 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dex (anonymous) says...
shelby: you got it right. in the context of balls in a cup, it's
3/6 (probability of drawing 1 blue ball) * 2/5 (probability of drawing another blue ball from the remaining 5) = 6/30 = 1/5 = .2 (20%)
September 2, 2003 at 4:31 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
AussieT (anonymous) says...
What an interesting situation, over here in Australia we too play spin the bottle. When the unfortunate event of two males drawing together occurs, we just laugh and spin again (trying to weight it perfectly to land on the desired princess)
September 2, 2003 at 6:11 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
rednekbuddha (Kelly Powell) says...
And one time at band camp.......!!!
September 2, 2003 at 7:16 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
murderama (Rob Gillaspie) says...
I can't believe you had to go through so much trouble just to watch two guys make out. The Buddha and I would have kissed at the drop of a hat, no games involved, without ever feeling threatened by our masculinity... You would think someone as sexually liberated as yourself would know better than to hang out with such closet cases. This post promotes homophobia on so many levels, even if it never intended to... Maybe if you learned to walk with one foot in the gutter you would find something more interesting to write about.
September 3, 2003 at 12:41 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
EricaAnderson (anonymous) says...
You take a lot of ill hits. It's admiral that you keep chuggin' along.
Write what you believe, no matter what anyone else thinks, Sara.
September 3, 2003 at 11:52 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Joel (Joel Mathis) says...
Odd. I'm straight. And yet the idea of murderama and buddha kissing just gave me chills.
Or maybe that's the cryptosporidium. Parasite or passion, you be the judge.
September 3, 2003 at 4:18 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
gamer (Matt Cox) says...
Did EricaAnderson just write "admiral" when she was wanting to say "admirable"? ...wow...
September 3, 2003 at 4:39 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dex (anonymous) says...
gamer: i think ericaA really meant "rear admiral."
September 3, 2003 at 4:47 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
EricaAnderson (anonymous) says...
Funny gamer and dex. Yes, typo. I meant admirable...not admiral sara...or rear admiral.
September 3, 2003 at 9:59 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
sarabehunek (anonymous) says...
Murderama,
How do you think this promotes homophobia? I seriously would like to hear your opinions on the subject.
September 5, 2003 at 12:52 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
murderama (Rob Gillaspie) says...
Well, for starters, the sideshow-like spectacle you make of this situation (two guys kissing) seems to show a little narrow mindeness (and even less social experience) on your part... I could go on and on from there, but I won't. I don't think this was intentional, not on your part... and I don't want to turn this into some sort of hateful forum, as it would most certainly become... Especially with posters like Aussie T out there, who seem to be just waiting for a chance to talk a load of shit. I'm just saying to go out and live a little. Guys kiss all the time in this town; it's nothing new or shocking. Dig beneath the layers a bit. Look harder. We know you've got it in you, little trooper.
September 5, 2003 at 3:54 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
sarabehunek (anonymous) says...
Alright chief, I'll roll my sleeves up next time.
love and kisses,
your little trooper
September 5, 2003 at 6:38 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
AussieT (anonymous) says...
calm down murderama...looks like someone is sick of being trampled on by all the schoolyard bullies, I am not ruling out kissing guys its just that I dont feel the urge. Can you please explain what a "poster" is, we are a little slower down here in Aus but at least we can spel:)
September 8, 2003 at 12:05 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dex (anonymous) says...
"poster" as in one who "posts" comments to the blogs. it's great that you can spell down in "Aus," but perhaps you should try reading.
September 8, 2003 at 12:19 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
tsunami (anonymous) says...
I would cf boo radley's new one regarding social barriers and stereotypes, yeah?
September 8, 2003 at 6:30 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
AussieT (anonymous) says...
Dex, thanks for pointing that out mate. SO your Murderama's little sidekick. All right Ill meet you down the back of the bikeshed at lunchtime and we will go toe to toe.
September 8, 2003 at 7:34 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
rednekbuddha (Kelly Powell) says...
NO, I''m Murderamas little sidekick....Are you going to get all Aussie on me? He gave a credible opinion, you going to make ths a blog flaming?
September 8, 2003 at 7:42 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dex (anonymous) says...
aussieT: so you're going to go paul hogan on my ass at the bikeshed? i'll throw your shrimp on the barbie and feed it to the dingos any day, mate.
and if you're going to be lame and poke fun at people's spelling on the blogs, please have the courtesy to use "your" and "you're" correctly.
September 9, 2003 at 11:48 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
AussieT (anonymous) says...
Dex, I feel a real connection with you mate...maybe its time to spin the bottle...you write soooo seductively....
September 9, 2003 at 6:03 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dex (anonymous) says...
no matter how you cut it, we're in different hemishperes, so the bottle thing just isn't going to work out. sorry.
September 10, 2003 at 10:06 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
murderama (Rob Gillaspie) says...
Ms. Sara:
Hell froze over. I ctually posted a non-sarcastic response to your comments. Just in case you didn't have the chance to read it. Sigh... where do we go from here?
September 10, 2003 at 3:11 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Shelby (anonymous) says...
Rob: "Sigh...where do we go from here?"
I suggest dinner and a movie.
September 10, 2003 at 4:47 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
sarabehunek (anonymous) says...
Rob, don't fret. You can still write nasty things and I will brandish you from behind my computer screen. That's how we do and it's works quite nice. You are still my nemesis and I am still your little trooper. btw, I not only brandished you, but double flipped-off the the screen when you gave me a name that's suppossed to go along with the tousling of hair. But that's the response you wanted, right cheif?
September 10, 2003 at 5:31 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
murderama (Rob Gillaspie) says...
Oddly enough, i did an air-tousle right after I typed it, so it all works out.
September 10, 2003 at 5:46 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
murderama (Rob Gillaspie) says...
PS: I always secretly hoped I would be the one who got you to break your "no repsonse" policy.
September 10, 2003 at 5:49 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
grittykitty (anonymous) says...
usually it takes ecstacy to get two straight men to kiss each other. hmmm,peer pressure works,too. fascinating.
September 20, 2003 at 4:58 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
mickeysabbath (anonymous) says...
Baby you just keep doin your thing. You have a great voice. Murderama - you got to relax man. Flirty writing is alright with me, flirty anything is alright with me - but dont y'all go thinking flirty style is easy to pull off. Sara, you keep having fun now. That shit was right on about the skinny freightened white boy in the WS classes - I know (help me). And then Brian writes in wanting to defend - that is some funny shit. You could do a story on the responses.
September 22, 2003 at 4:32 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
summerstar (anonymous) says...
Murderama... why do you feel the need to be so abrasive? I have been reading on this site since the world company decided to change formats and you constantly seem to be attempting to ignite arguements? Your like the wanna be counter culture kid from high school to caught up in there high and lofty "be different" mindset to realize they were just as part of something as everyone else and probably more inclusive. Like now that you have lawrence.com it your turn to bully people. Sarcasm doing mean being rude, you have have to be a gutter punk to have worth, and lets all try to be respectful as well as bringing our own ideas to this site!! (how was that for a first post? lol)
September 25, 2003 at 7:58 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
summerstar (anonymous) says...
apoligize for spelling, its early....and I'm tired
September 25, 2003 at 7:59 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
StarbucksLV (anonymous) says...
Murderama is only upset because nobody actually reads his own blog. In fact, all of the commenters are made-up: they are Murderama himself, in different guises, trying to make it appear like he has (a) readers and (b) friends. It also serves as a way of justifying his lame blog.
As for this blog, the only people who comment on it are the ones who think the blogger is hot, and she clearly does not have the time of day for any of you.
September 26, 2003 at 12:59 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dex (anonymous) says...
i resent that. i read this blog for the math problems *and* the inane comments.
September 26, 2003 at 2:55 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
summerstar (anonymous) says...
I'm sure she has the time of day for people.... I mean I have the time of day for people lol Now if you mean to say she probably won't be hooking up with any of her internet fans from here I would probably agree
September 29, 2003 at 8:24 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
murderama (Rob Gillaspie) says...
Has anyone figured out that Starbucks LV and I are the same person? And I'm not abrasive, summerstar, I just have a fucking opinion. I have nothing against Sara-- I think she's a great girl. I just like to see some kind of discussion in her talkbacks other than "you suck" or "you're hot." So fuck off.
September 29, 2003 at 4:03 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
summerstar (anonymous) says...
Abrasive... just like I said, and the multiple user names is pathetic you can't just be yourself you have to hide?
September 30, 2003 at 8:47 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
murderama (Rob Gillaspie) says...
Um... I was joking about that Starbucks thing, BTW.
September 30, 2003 at 9:42 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dex (anonymous) says...
i thought all the posts on the blogs were by murderama.
September 30, 2003 at 10:57 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
summerstar (anonymous) says...
I wouldn't doubt it at this point. Well now on to the next two things I must do to make this post complete.... Sara your hot, and I'm really murderama!! Dun Dun Dun... the plot thickens!
September 30, 2003 at 2:16 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )