July 23, 2008
That's an exact quote from a ["prominent Republican strategist."][1] Why so glum? Well, because they pretty much are fucked.This particular apparatchik is brown-panting because Barack Obama has completely neutered John McCain's supposed foreign policy advantage. This is cause for concern in GOP ranks because foreign policy was one of the few arrows remaining turgid in McCain's otherwise limp larded quiver. Obama's "Monsters of Barack '08" world tour has established the first term senator from Illinois as a global phenomenon as serious as Spanish flu and all but erased McCain from the headlines-and pretty much from this dimension of reality-faster than [Bob Novak can flee the scene of a hit and run.][2]It's not just the all consuming, mostly fawning media coverage and tweenie-bopper squeals emitted by world leaders in his presence that have made Obama's trip the stuff of political strategist's wet dreams. A whole series of events have unfolded to make this "The Most Fucked Week Ever" (airing this fall on VH1) for John McCain's campaign. Some fuckable highlights:-Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Al-Maliki [endorsed Obama's troop withdrawal schedule.][3] The White House has basically agreed. I don't care if you call it a "timeline horizon" or "Poppin' Fresh muffins," what you really call it is "fucked" for John "100 Years In Iraq" McCain.-Obama has long argued that invading Iraq was a terrible decision, in part, because of [ distracted us from Afghanistan.][4] A recent flare up in violence in Afghanistan has borne this out, to the point where Defense Secretary Robert Gates and top U.S. Commander in Iraq David Petraeus are now considering troop redeployments from Iraq to Afghanistan. Obama looks far sighted, McCain looks far fucked. -John McCain, in an [interview with "Good Morning America"][5] where he was desperately trying to remind the world that he exists, said that Iraq and Pakistan share a border. They don't. Iraq is about 1,500 miles from Pakistan. Combine this senior moment with his [confusing of Sunni and Shiite Muslims][6], and McCain is sharing a border with Wearefuckedistan.-McCain, in an [interview with CBS News][7] as part of the same "I'm not dead yet" tour, totally screwed up and/or intentionally lied about the time line of the troop surge in Iraq. He suggested that the "Sunni Awakening," a tribal purging of militants which most experts say led to the recent decrease in violence in Iraq, began as a result of the surge. Nope. The surge came four months AFTER the start of the awakening. McCain's awakening was quickly followed by a fuckening.So, unless Obama accidentally says "Your mother eats hairy fat beavers" in German while addressing a million swooning Berliners, this week of a thousand fucks will continue unabated for John McCain. [1]: http://marcambinder.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/07/almalikis_announcement_a_big_d.php [2]: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/07/23/robert-novak-taken-into-p_n_114510.html [3]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__rb3qbNkys [4]: http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5iPL5GHfemQzfQ6E0beKlIw5AVtTQ [5]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVfU8g8dlNg [6]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkfM7z0-Vdg [7]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32i3pL9z7UE
Comments
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smerdyakov (anonymous) says...
This blog shares a border with Theliberalmediawantsobamasbabiesistan.
July 23, 2008 at 6:21 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Keith (anonymous) says...
At this point, McCain would be better off if he DID start telling Abe Simpson stories.
July 24, 2008 at 6:37 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
matt (Matt Armstrong) says...
"Two thousand years ago the proudest boast was civis Romanus sum [I am a Roman citizen]. Today, in the world of freedom, the proudest boast is 'Ihre Mutter isst fett haarige Biber': All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin, and, therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words 'Ihre Mutter isst fett haarige Biber!'"
July 24, 2008 at 8:13 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Mackadoo (anonymous) says...
If only any of this actually mattered to the sheeple who will be turning out in full force to keep "the gays" from marrying, etc... The average McCain voter has no idea that Iraq and Afghanistan don't share a border, and he/she doesn't give a rat's ass that McCain doesn't know that either.Though all the past week's happenings have made me tinkle a little with excitement, unfortunately there is still no voter intelligence test that people have to pass before they go into the booth to make the most important decisions of all of our lives.
July 24, 2008 at 9:11 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Shelby (anonymous) says...
"...the most important decisions of all of our lives."Are you serious?Sure, I think voting is important, but being one of millions picking 'a' over 'b', to me, doesn't rank as highly as, say, well, most any decisions that affect me personally. "do I take this job over the one I already have," for instance, or even "Should I start eating healthier or habitually 'vote' for Sonic's continued dominance."It's a no-brainer for me, and I don't really understand how people become so proud of themselves and deluded as to think that voting for a presidential candidate is the most important decision they'll make over the next four years.
July 24, 2008 at 10:32 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says...
Shelby, I don't think Mackadoo was saying the act of voting individually in and of itself is the most important decision, rather that the collective decision we as a country will make is pretty damn important. Can't really argue with that. Also, Sonic. Mackadoo, I don't think gays as an issue is going to have much salience this year. In fact, I don't think wedge issues and fear mongering as tactics are still viable. The economy is going to trump everything, and that's another "We're fucked" scenario for the GOP (who think we're a "nation of whiners" for losing our jobs).Keith:http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc173/jbl55/oldmanyellsatcloud.jpgSmerdyakov, I'll meet you in Fistupyourassylvania.Matt, Ich kleide oben als krankenschwester an und schiebe einen bleistift in ihrem ohr.
July 24, 2008 at 11:52 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Mackadoo (anonymous) says...
Shelby, sorry, I meant "all of our lives" as a collective, as a country. I'm not sure what affects our lives more than the lawmakers, executors, and judges we elect who put in place and interpret the local and national laws we must abide by every day.Gavon, I can only hope you're right. It makes plain sense to you and me, but somehow it seems the overall "quality of life via our thriving economy" message is *still* being muddled in the "we gotta get them terrorists in the Iraq" mentality for many people.
July 24, 2008 at 12:14 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
DOTDOT (anonymous) says...
Me? I can't wait for the debates. Squeallikeapigistan.
July 24, 2008 at 7:44 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
dolores2175 (April Fleming) says...
a pencil in your ear?http://dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/7/24/164149/523/904/556422wunderbare bilden von berlin, fuer meine deutsche kindern
July 24, 2008 at 9:18 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says...
Oops...I meant to say "pencil in your EYE."
July 25, 2008 at 12:04 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )