Posted
by Gavon Laessig
July 31, 2008 at 5:34 p.m.
Rage Boner
Two things you should know about me:1. I love Batman. It's a borderline infantile obsession for which I should probably take medication. 2. I hate George W. Bush. It's a borderline infantile obsession for which I should probably take medication.So when the Wall Street Journal published an editorial last week called [ "What Bush and Batman Have in Common,"][1] I nearly bust a nut of black, foaming apoplexy.A choice nugget of this bile porn:"There seems to me no question that the Batman film "The Dark Knight," currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war. Like W, Batman is vilified and despised for confronting terrorists in the only terms they understand. Like W, Batman sometimes has to push the boundaries of civil rights to deal with an emergency, certain that he will re-establish those boundaries when the emergency is past."You hear that grinding noise? That's my teeth grating themselves down to bloody nubs. I'm sputtering bone shards and spittle.I don't even know where to begin with this...this emotional larceny. (Tip o' the '90s-pop-culture-reference hat to Caterina and "Singles.")Firstly, did this shriveled polyp from within Rupert Murdoch's editorial anus actually see "The Dark Knight"? Did he not catch how the stripping away of civilization and morality was the entire point of the Joker's terror plot? Did he kind of just gloss over how torture and surreptitious surveillance was portrayed as a victory for fear and paranoia? Was he too busy entertaining his adolescent power fantasies of George W. Bush as Superman, rescuing him in full Lois Lane drag from the insidious Islamomexigays, to pay attention?I love how these conservative pussies, who apparently live in a constant fetal position amid their poly-bagged back issues of "Conan the Barbarian," believe the only way we can preserve our freedom is to pre-emptively destroy it. When you combine that sniveling cowardice with the homo-erotic fetishization of Bushman, you get this kind of fascist nit-wittery.The only thing George W. Bush has in common with Batman is that they each have alter egos who are petulant rich kids with self-destructive daddy issues.Jesus...I could punch a nun holding a basket of kittens, I'm so pissed. [1]: http://online.wsj.com/article_print/SB121694247343482821.html
and 5 others
Comments
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PatrickJoseph (Patrick Giroux) says…
"W" already has his movie coming out. Leave our comic book movie out of simplistic allegories for why Shrub is so wonderful.
mitzibel (Misty Nuckolls) says…
"Islamomexigays".I am in awe of your liguistic prowess, sir. Brilliant.
matt (Matt Armstrong) says…
Yes, it's foolish and eerily "crushy" (Harriet Myers couldn't have done better), but haven't you ever wondered which is the mask? The callous oil man with a penchant for endless destruction and giving the finger to the international court?Or the tap dancing, back rub giving, pretzel choking, Segway flipping doofus?Or the barbed tail and onyx horns that erupt forth at the sound of children and women wailing?
PatrickJoseph (Patrick Giroux) says…
Where would Shrub fit into the Batman Rogues Gallery?
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
Being a plant of rudimentary intelligence, he'd be one of Poison Ivy's goons.
Mr_A (Bryan Anderson) says…
Batman beats up on criminals. However, if Batman beat up on people who lived in a neighborhood located in the general area near criminals, but with no actual criminals in it, weakening the neighborhood to such an extent that criminals moved in and decided to use that neighborhood as their new hangout, then we could start comparing our president to Batman.
ladylaw (Terry Bush) says…
I am laughing out loud and with tears in my eyes over your prose. Violent, to be sure. (God help you - or the world - if this kind of thing makes you THIS angry). But funny? Over the top. If you can deliver as well as you write comedy, you may want to earn extra cash doing stand up.
stechell (anonymous) says…
Borderline?
gavon (Gavon Laessig) says…
stechell, you can take your insinuations about my mental stability and--in the words of gifted performer Kitty Steffens--cram it.Save your bon mots for the scotch besotted rubes over in Sheepfuck Isles, puppet lady!
mwhitey (anonymous) says…
Sources inside the White House say that Bush hosted the last 'staff apprecation night' by showing The Dark Knight...no bullshit.
OtherJoel (anonymous) says…
This might cheer you up: http://dir.salon.com/story/comics/tom...