June 27, 2008
![][1]Hello, ladies. (And gentlemen.) I have a proposition. No more "top" lists, ever. I keep hearing about this TitleTown USA [stuff][2], some contest ESPN is holding to determine which title-winning town is the best, I guess. Some national magazine tells us the Replay is the best bar in Kansas, another says Lawrence isn't or is one of the best rock towns in America, U.S. News & World Report says KU is better or worse than it was last year ... and none of it, of course, means anything.Well, nevermind. Maybe I'm just being cranky. Let the "top" lists be. Let us make lots of "top" lists instead. Here are mine, based on months of scrupulous research, interviews, etc.:Top Hypothetical Concert Lineup Based on Most Outrageous Local Band Names: [ Jungle Tits][3]/ [Al-Qaeda][4]/ [The Complimentary Toothpicks][5]Top Facial Feature: eyesTop Gun: MaverickTop Book: Sometimes a Great Notion by Ken KeseyTop Shelf Liquor: one may only speculateTop Pen: Pilot G-2Top Food: steakIn other news, if you enjoy web pages, you might enjoy these: [You're Gonna Frey]6 [Stuff White People Like][7] [1]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/roguescarlet/foamhand.jpg [2]: http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2008/jun/27/fans_make_case_titletown/ [3]: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=65077409 [4]: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=276524757 [5]: http://www.myspace.com/thecomplimentarytoothpicks [6]: http://www.nealpollack.com/cgi-bin/blog/do.cgi/200304290132/permalink [7]: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/
Comments
lawrence.com does not necessarily agree with comments posted below - responsibility lies with the relevant user alone. Read our full policy.
chewyfally (Falestine Afani Ruzik) says...
omfg I LOVE stuff white people likeit's friggin' hilarious.
June 27, 2008 at 2:20 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
godjilla (Jill Ensley) says...
I challenge your Top Pen choice, good sir!For these are the Best Pens Ever:http://www.office-supplies.us.com/product_103896_detailed.htm
June 27, 2008 at 4:55 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
Shelby (anonymous) says...
Not to nitpick, toothpick, but I think Iceman and Slider won Top Gun.That is, admittedly, disregarding the fact that Maverick essentially took himself out of the competition after Goose died.You have to feel for that black guy who Maverick tried flying with there for a little while. "We could of had him, man. HEY! We could of had him!!"But Maverick couldn't take the shot. It was "no good". Sad, really.Great. Balls. Of fire.
June 28, 2008 at 7:58 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
frankt (Frank Tankard) says...
Sorry, Shelby, but the staff of the Rogue Scarlet blog, after, I repeat, months of scrupulous research, and using a set of criteria that would take far too long to explain, came to the following conclusion pertaining to this particular list, and it stands:Top Gun: Maverick
June 28, 2008 at 8:08 p.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
bloozman (anonymous) says...
I always thought that Paladin was the top gun.
July 1, 2008 at 11:11 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )
El_Borak (Bill Hoyt) says...
Hey, part of Lawrence was #1 in June:http://www.kunstler.com/eyesore_200806.html
July 2, 2008 at 11:40 a.m. ( permalink | suggest removal )