Lux Interior is Dead, ALAS…
I touched this man's naked ass once. I really did.
I just read an entry from early on in this journal, and I thought it would be fun to share:"I bought a pair of X-RAY GOGS today because I've always thought they looked stylin. I tore into the package as soon as I left the toy store and put them on, confident in my cool new look... Three steps later, I walked face first into a tree. 
Curvacia and I are getting desperate in our quest for a rock-n-roll drummer. Two weeks ago, I plastered every flyering hot spot with handbills, complete with pull-off tags featuring our contact info... Ms. Malady and I figured an email address was best, since neither of us bother to answer the phone, and when we do, our lack of communication skills are usually enough to sink any conversation like the Lusitania. Anyway, if YOU were an aspiring rock drummer, and YOU saw this flier hanging outside the record store, wouldn't YOU immediately drop everything and rush home to respond?
Yeah, me too. But apparently, all the young skin-bangers in this town have better things to do. It looks like quite a few people are interested, because several tags have been torn away, but our email inbox remains dreadfully bare.So, in an attempt to boost our response rate, I concocted THIS flier, opting for a more "cut-n-paste" design... I figured, what the fuck, maybe all the young rockers will be drawn in by the whole "black death" aesthetic:
This time, in addition to hitting the usual spots, I made sure to hit laundromats, liquor stores, and most importantly, the KU campus. I tried to double up with the old fliers as much as possible, just my way of trying to say "See? We're still looking! There's still a chance to get in on the most famous fucking rock band in town!"I did a quick check downtown today, and sure enough, there were a few bites. But the inbox remains empty. What else can I do but wait? It seems like no one in this town wants to be in a band that doesn't stare at it's feet anymore. Are we really going to have to move away before we can fulfill our dreams of superstardom? Four letters, my friends: L-A-M-E. BUt, as you know by know, we never give up hope. Right now, I'm burning a candle next to my Cramps shrine and praying to the Holy Twosome for some divine intervention... If anyone can offer us spiritual guidance in our times of need, it's Lux and Ivy, that's for sure."
Times change, of course... What a difference four years makes. The Spook Lights are bopping more fiercely than ever, and a lot of that comes from the original inspiration Curvacia and I drew from Ivy and Lux... not just as musicians, but as persistent outsiders, as archivists of seedy, throwaway culture. Knowing that two such people could share an interpersonal mythology and somehow focus it into an external force was a flashing green light to us. The Cramps were more than mere idols to us-- they were full blown DEITIES.This excerpt from their RE/SEARCH interview sums it up best for me:"IVY: We fight hard against being like robots. We think, "How did other people live? What are other ways of being?" We don't just look back to the 50's, we look to any period of history, back to the dawn of man. And we're interested in physics or ANYTHING that could answer our questions. We have vivid imaginations for the future... You have to be aware of LANGUAGE making you into a robot; language confines your thinking. There's different thoughts in different languages, and some of them are untranslatable-- so you can think more thoughts if you know more languages!LUX: The great thing about songs like SURFIN' BIRD is that they're beyond art-- beyond good or bad. And rock'n'roll is much bigger than just records; it's a way of life-- you don't even need MUSIC to have rock'n'roll! So criticizing it like you would criticize music seems to completely miss the point. Like judging folk music for being played really well, when it's actually someone singing about their lover being HANGED... the fingerpicking or technique have nothing to do with what's happening... Criticism of all art forms has gotten out of control: critics usually say "This stinks!" without saying WHY. It's the point where the critic is the star and the artists are the furniture. In any magazine you can see reviews of the latest albums with "A-minus" or "C-plus"... but music isn't about mathematics, it's about emotions. A lot of these records we've been playing: how could you give them a grade? There's something special going on-- that's all there is. And the criticism should be honest and heartfelt, too... A lot of "unsophisticated" people have something going for them (just like blind people can hear better than people who have sight). They've got an extra sense that comes from not thinking they know everything because they went to college. It's a sense of what's actually real. I don't have anything against critics who actually do research, but some of them know nothing about the history of music-- you can mention something so common that they MUST have heard of it-- but they haven't."I can't think of any two people who have had more of a direct influence on my way of life. I must have gotten an infection that night when his bare ass met my open palm. Thankfully I let the disease spread to my brain and never sprung for treatment. Lux Interior, you were my fucking hero, and I'll miss you forever.
One amazing interview sandwiched between two of ther greatest songs:My favorite live clip that's floating around right now-- "Goo Goo Muck" in 1981:And, of course, the always classic "Bikini Girls" video:the cramps - bikini girls with machine guns
--Scary Manilow
I’ve Got The Funereal Disease
For reasons that will be obvious to the three or four people who still peruse this blog, I'm lighting a pyre and setting it free. I had a litany of explanations planned to preface my escape, but have opted instead to keep things short, sweet, and generic-- by posting three video clips that I hope will provide some closure to my not-so-grieving fans. My feelings about ending this blog are cleverly hidden within!Discussion begins in the comment section below...PS: If anyone wants to keep up on our blossoming media empire-- the movies, the music, the madness-- feel free to drop by [SCARUM HARUM][1] and tell us how fucking great we are!!!!Toodles...--Scary Manilow [1]: http://www.myspace.com/scarumharum
and 5 others
Too Much Friction
Overheard at the thrift store during yesterday's massive prop-hunt:"Y'all got any of them, y'know, FAKE BOOKS?""A fake book? Not sure what you mean. Like a decoration?""Naw, man, I mean like FAKE, like not real.""You mean fiction?""Yeah, that's the word. Friction. Like made up stories and shit.""Look behind you. Look beside you. See those shelves? That's where we keep the fiction books. They're all around you, pal.""These ain't like REAL BOOKS, right? Cuz I can't stand readin' that REAL SHIT. Makes my head start to hurt."I later heard the same man arguing with a clerk, insisting that he didn't have to pay for his books (the whole stack of which appeared to be juvenile adventure stories from Scholastic Press) because, "I'm a famous fuckin' rapper, lady!"Some day, when I'm filthy rich, I'm going to track this guy down and make sure he comes to every High Society-type function with me. Or better yet, I'm gonna take him to my next big family reunion and insist that he's a lost sibling my mother gave up for adoption. The sooner this guy is unleashed on an unsuspecting public, the better. Where my head is at these days (when it's not screwed to the back of a camera):[
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][7]...and, as always:[
][8] [1]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=peter_lorre_m.jpg" target="_blank [2]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=typewriter.jpg" target="_blank [3]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=Joe_one.jpg" target="_blank [4]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=del-byzanteens.jpg" target="_blank [5]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=caligari.jpg" target="_blank [6]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=alan_moore-1.jpg" target="_blank [7]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=moontarot.jpg" target="_blank [8]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=HPIM0177.jpg" target="_blank
On Your Day Of Independence…
Happy Fourth! Here's some news to help you through this most patriotic of weekends:[Jesse Helms is finally dead.][1] [Magic mushrooms are good for you.][2] [Utility workers trained as Stasi-style terror informants in Denver.][3] [9-11 "Hero Dog" to be cloned in South Korea.][4]Most impossible news of the week: a complete print of Fritz Lang's "Metropolis" has been discovered in Argentina. The current "restored" version (available on DVD from Kino) has long been considered to be the definitive edition of the film, as any excised scenes were assumed to be lost forever. With the discovery of this missing footage, fragmented subplots will be restored, artistic rhythm will be re-established, and the full scope of this visionary work can finally be viewed as a complete, unblemished whole.[
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][8] [1]: http://www.alternet.org/rights/90460/?ses=3c94cd9934f8323cab3b762aeafd5776 [2]: http://news.wired.com/dynamic/stories/S/SCI_PSYCHEDELIC_STUDY?SITE=WIRE&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2008-07-01-08-59-17 [3]: http://www.infowars.com/?p=3051 [4]: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/2231765/911-hero-dog-'to-be-cloned'.html [5]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="metroprun by scary_manilow, on Flickr [6]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="metropolis3b by scary_manilow, on Flickr [7]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="metropolis2 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [8]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="metropolis1 by scary_manilow, on Flickr
This World Makes My Head Spin
Gaze now upon a man with too much food on his plate. Metaphorically, that is-- having already frontloaded my schedule with three jobs, a fabulous rock band, and a hectic movie shoot, I decided that having one free day a week was simply too luxurious for me. I sent out a psychic call to the aether, and before you could scream "STRESS RELATED HEART FAILURE," I was blessed with an extra Sunday night bartending shift, and have thusly gained entrance to that elite cadre of individuals known as "The Seven Day A Weekers," or in layman's terms, "Morons."A trip down memory lane: It was a scant twleve months ago that I indulged in a life of leisure. I worked five shifts a week, slept in till noon, and had fistfuls of pocket money to spare. Now I barely have time to eat or shit, and somehow I'm barely making ends meet. Have times really gotten so tight in the past year? This sudden shift in lifestyle has greyed my back hair prematurely. It ain't right, I tell ya!What I need to do is come up with some kind of sucker's play, something to bilk the rooby-dubes of their hard earned sawbucks, something that preys upon the low-end sensibilities of the slobbering neanderthals who voted us into this pit to begin with. The gaping assholes of the world are just quivering for the Next Dumb Thing to cram their openings with-- how else can you explain the grim reality of MOUNTAIN DEW FLAVORED DORITOS?[
][1]These things exist-- I've seen them with my own two eyes. When offered a sample, I could only back away slowly and whimper. The target market for this product is pretty obvious: mud-truckin', gut-pickin', chaw-spittin', Pantera-blastin' crackerspawn looking forward to twelve solid hours of gunning down whole villages of screaming brown children via the latest military-sponsored video game crapfest. There isn't any caffeine in this latest crop of frankenfood-- which blows my mind, since I can't imagine anyone actually drinks Mountain Dew for the TASTE-- but I'm certain that the chemical combination required to bring this creature to life is enough to render even the spermiest consumer permanently sterile. Which is great, because we all know what happens when these yokels start spurting out crotchfruit, right?[
][2]Enough said. Even more from the "I wish I'd thought of it first" department-- Why aren't I squeezing credit points from the gullible fucks who frequent THESE sites?[
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][4]I would have included actual links with these screencaps, but honestly, I don't want to run the risk that one of you will click on through and somehow justify their existence.You might think my limited free time is consumed by scouring the earth for things to complain about. Not so, Dear Readers-- in fact, lately I've found myself overwhelmed with new and exciting interests, and I'm just bursting at the seams to share them with you!First off, there's this new cat that's been hanging around our yard... Curvacia has taken to calling him Blanche, because "he always depends on the kindness of strangers." It's a shame that anyone would abandon this poor guy-- and he was OBVIOUSLY abandoned, as evidenced by his desperate calls for affection when he roams the neighborhood. He crawls into our laps and lets us rub his belly, which isn't something a typical stray would do. And he has the cutest little punched-in face, with a lip that curls up on one side and a dashing scar above his right eyebrow.[
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][6]Then there's this vintage advertisement, which is so astounding I don't even need to comment on it:[
][7]Someone in San Francisco altered cable-car billboard so that it advertises the obvious: EVERYONE WANTS TO BLOW A MAN IN UNIFORM.[
][8]The 1931 pre-Hayes code version of The Maltese Falcon (also known as Dangerous Female) is a thing of wonder, indeed. It's extra sleazy, flamboyant as hell, and it even has Dwight Frye in it, whom I wish I would have patterned my entire life after: [
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][11]The band X is hardly a new interest of mine-- I just wanted to add their picture here because they're the best looking band on the planet and should be a constant source of inspiration to anyone with an ounce of taste:[
][12]Also, I just scored a sweet linen shirt that will surely make me the talk of the town. Unsurpassed comfort
][13] [1]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=doritos.jpg" target="_blank [2]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=nascar.jpg" target="_blank [3]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=rapture.jpg" target="_blank [4]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=rapture2.jpg" target="_blank [5]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=blanche.jpg" target="_blank [6]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=blanchandzoe.jpg" target="_blank [7]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=wigs-1.jpg" target="_blank [8]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=marine.jpg" target="_blank [9]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=maltesefalcon3.jpg" target="_blank [10]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=maltesefalcon1.jpg" target="_blank [11]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=maltesefalcon2.jpg" target="_blank [12]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=13-31.jpg" target="_blank [13]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=shirt.jpg" target="_blank
How Does It Start?
Our first full-lenght feature is half done! To keep the fires stoked until this fall, we proudly offer YOU, our loyal fans, a rare FIRST GLIMPSE at the teaser trailer, which will make its public debut on NO major networks in the coming weeks.Enjoy! Please rate and comment, for the cost of hosting videos on Youtube is FRIGHTFULLY expensive!HINT: It looks best if you go to Youtube and click on the "watch in high quality" button!
Hey, Bo Diddley!
Add another one to the list of great musicians that I've passed up an opportunity to see, only to have them die before ever re-entering my immediate vicinity: Johnny Cash (I had the flu), Ike Turner (I couldn't get off work), and now Bo Diddley (I don't even remember why now).[
][1]From the AP wire:_JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) - Bo Diddley, a founding father of rock 'n' roll whose distinctive "shave and a haircut, two bits" rhythm and innovative guitar effects inspired legions of other musicians, died Monday after months of ill health. He was 79.Diddley died of heart failure at his home in Archer, Fla., spokeswoman Susan Clary said. He had suffered a heart attack in August, three months after suffering a stroke while touring in Iowa. Doctors said the stroke affected his ability to speak, and he had returned to Florida to continue rehabilitation.The legendary singer and performer, known for his homemade square guitar, dark glasses and black hat, was an inductee into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, had a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, and received a lifetime achievement award in 1999 at the Grammy Awards. In recent years he also played for the elder President Bush and President Clinton.Diddley appreciated the honors he received, "but it didn't put no figures in my checkbook.""If you ain't got no money, ain't nobody calls you honey," he quipped._Here's a little BO to help you through this hard time, with the almighty DUCHESS rocking a solid rhythm keep your asses warm: [1]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=BoDiddley.jpg" target="_blank
Another Murder Down
You might ask: Scary Manilow, don't you ever talk about anything but your movie anymore? Let me answer your question with one of my own: Why don't you cut the hyperbole and dig this wild scene from our forthcoming cinematic masterpiece, IT STARTS WITH MURDER?That's fellow L.com blogger Misty Nuckolls making her movie debut as the unfortunate Ms. Deluxe. Give her a big round of applause, ladies and germs.DYING to see more? Feast your peepers on these stills-- they're delicious enough to keep your brain filled until I get a proper trailer cut, which will hopefully grace this website sometime in the next three weeks or so:[
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][24] Rough cut. Stolen music. Poorly mixed sound. I KNOW these things-- everything will fix itself in post. Scout's honor! [1]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 2 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [2]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 3 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [3]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 4 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [4]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 1 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [5]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 12 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [6]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 11 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [7]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 3 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [8]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 2 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [9]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 15 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [10]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 13 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [11]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 12 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [12]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 10 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [13]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 7 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [14]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Grabbed Frame 5 by scary_manilow, on Flickr [15]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Death Walks by scary_manilow, on Flickr [16]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title=""Perhaps I'll Wait." by scary_manilow, on Flickr [17]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Conrad O'Connor, Green with TERROR! by scary_manilow, on Flickr [18]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Crack detectives, on the case. by scary_manilow, on Flickr [19]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Miss Mandrake: "My well's run a bit DRY." by scary_manilow, on Flickr [20]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Dirty Burt Greets Miss Mandrake by scary_manilow, on Flickr [21]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Peep Show Patron by scary_manilow, on Flickr [22]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Captive Heart For Jesus by scary_manilow, on Flickr [23]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Miss Mandrake investigates by scary_manilow, on Flickr [24]: http://www.flickr.com/photos/scaryman..." title="Now entering THE COCONUT HUT! by scary_manilow, on Flickr
Gimme Gimme This, Gimme Gimme That
You'd think that a degenerate punk rocker like myself would be thrilled to the gills about "What We Do Is Secret," a new film about the rise and disintegration of west coast noise auteuers The Germs. Under normal curcumstances, you'd probably be right-- but after seeing this clunker of a trailer, my enthusiasm has quickly waned: First off, the film is too glossy. A movie about The Germs should be shot on ancient Super 8 stock with horribly out-of-synch sound. It's really the only way to match the band's aesthetic cinematically. Not only that, but this guy Shane West is far too pretty to stand in for Darby Crash. Observe:[
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][2]From the trailer, is seems the producers have opted for touchy-feeliness over blatant nihilism, which is already going to ostracize the core audience of Darby-ites, who are a notoriously self-destructive lot. Until I actually see the film, I can't really say whether or not the story has been sanitized for the Hollywood Theaters crowd... but I'll be more than a little surprised if they actually portray him as a queer junkie with bad teeth and a fetish for rotten food. At best, it'll be the new "Sid and Nancy." At worst, it'll be "Walk the Line" for degenerate punks. Either way, I'm looking forward to seeing more big budget rockumentaries starring Tiger Beat's hunk-of-the-moment... Dare I dream of Ryan Reynolds as GG Allin or Ashton Kutcher as El Duce? My heart is already a-flutterin'...[
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][4] [1]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=1223_1027356063.jpg" target="_blank [2]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=6.jpg" target="_blank [3]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=ggallin.jpg" target="_blank [4]: http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d87/scary_manilow/?action=view¤t=duce.jpg" target="_blank
Overfilling the Gene Pool
Please join me in a round of sinister mocking when these ridiculous assholes take to the streets:http://thepillkills. com/Ahem-- from their website:"June 7 marks the 43rd anniversary of the U.S. Supreme Court decision Griswold v. Connecticut. This was the first of many decisions that led to the culture of death we live in today.On that day in 1965, when the U.S. Supreme Court ruled on the Griswold v. Connecticut case, it set a legal precedent for claiming that the Constitution grants women the right to privacy in matters of sexual practice. This meant that Connecticut and the rest of the United States could not stop a married woman from obtaining birth control pills. However, as Judge Andrew Napolitano has pointed out, the constitutional right to privacy has nothing to do with birth control.The plaintiff was Estelle Griswold, then executive director of the Planned Parenthood League of Connecticut. She and Dr. C. Lee Buxton opened a birth control clinic. They were arrested and fined for selling birth control pills, which was illegal in Connecticut. The case was pushed all the way to the Supreme Court. In other words, Planned Parenthood was breaking the law; yet it turned this case into a legal precedent for selling contraception. Because of the Griswold case and others that followed, unmarried women and teenagers were later permitted to obtain birth control pills.Join young people across the country on Protest the Pill Day '08: The Pill Kills Babies on June 7 and witness outside of clinics that distribute this killing poison.Everyone should know the deadly consequences of the pill and similar contraceptive products- they cause chemical abortions. Therefore, American Life League, along with Pro-Life Wisconsin and Pharmacists for Life International Associate groups, calls all pro-lifers across the country to speak out on Protest the Pill Day '08: The Pill Kills Babies, scheduled for the Griswold anniversary of Saturday, June 7. We encourage you to gather with your friends for peaceful protests in front of facilities that distribute birth control products.Planned Parenthood often promotes June 7 as a day of celebration because it can now sell birth control to young girls. American Life League crashed Planned Parenthood's 2005 Pill Party.Click here to see a video of our success there in spreading the truth about the pill:From the beginning, the pill has been an abortifacient, meaning it can cause abortions.Using statistical estimates of the number of chemical, medical and surgical abortions combined, computed by a biostatistician and an environmental epidemiologist, both at the University of Pittsburgh, along with an Ohio State University technical consultant and Bogomir M.Kuhar, a pharmacist, American Life League computed the following estimates for chemical abortions alone, from 1973 to 2003: * During this period, approximately 6,605,000 to 11,725,000 chemical abortions occured in the United States annually. * During this period, a total of 196,325,000 to 324,325,000 chemical abortions wiped out the equivalent of the entire United States population!"They even have a hilarious video to go with it:So... If THE PILL really does become illegal, are the kind folks at the AMERICAN LIFE LEAGUE on standby to adopt the millions of unwanted babies that will be flooding the scene?Wait-- I'm having a vision: We outlaw birth control, sell the babies on the black market, then use the money to pay off the crippling national debt that our current administration has saddled us with. At last! A logical way to fill this gaping hole that the Christian RIght has dug for our country. As most members of the AMERICAN LIFE LEAGUE undoubtedly support our president and his fucking useless war, I'm sure they would be more than happy to see this plan into action, if for no other reason than to wash their hands of a mess that they helped create.Am I right? Huh? Huh? Who's with me, here?
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