Boyled and Served
I suppose that we asked for it. We love us some famous people, but oh man, how we love it waay more when they screw up (the more colossally, the better, thanks be to Britney and Lindsay). Yet even when we like them for how average they are, we can't wait to find fault in their normalcy. Look at you! Walking around a gas station with your ugly hair (while I haven't showered in days).
I'm guilty as any hausfrau of spreading the Susan Boyle meme and helping it reach, as of today, 49 million hits. Christ. I'd like to think that the sweetness I got out of that video was one of the redemption of this strange older lady with bush eyebrows got Simon Cowell to smile like I did seeing Jonathan Taylor Thomas for the first time when I was 10. What's more true though, was that I grabbed my cat and my lovely roommate and told them, "See? I promise... it's not too late for us. Really."
So it was inevitable that we took the ordinariness out of Susan Boyle and in the meantime she's gotten a makeover (whatever) and more to my dislike, is now being stalked by paparazzi. Case in point, the relentless TMZ, catching a moment of morning glory:
It is sad in its way that this lady's life is changing in ways that she probably has no interest in. We would rather eat her alive than just let her be. Whyyyy haven't you kissed anyone? Oh you have - who, and where, and when? How may we get a hold of him? Oooohh. Could it be a her??? We thought you attended church!
I feel like I've mentioned to my sister and friends for a long time that as much as I kind of enjoy seeing the occasional Lohan crash and burn as much as anyone else, that I really wouldn't want to imagine a life where like a Madonna or Brad Pitt, who literally can't go anywhere ever and not be mobbed by people that all want something from them.
I'm not sure that I agree with anyone that says that if you even enter Hollywood's zip code that you better be prepared to face the onslaught of cameras that will catch every stray move. I'm sure most people wouldn't mind the attention, but I don't think most who wind up famous are prepared for it being 24/7. Thank whatever that nobody cares in the least what I'm up to - I look like death probably most of the time, drink too much and too often and surely have said a host of things that don't approach the truth. Like the time I told Mark Sanders after a night out that if he gave me a month, I'd be a better drummer than Tyler French. Tyler's actually quite good - I'm just often full of shit in the face of a challenge, plus booze. I can and will win anything!
The worst celebrity gossip offender (TMZ being a close second) must be Perez Hilton/Mario Lavandiera... he who draws coke nose and uhm, seminal fluid on the faces of his perceived celenimies on his blog. He who also has recently waged (a pretty successful) war on NOMA and Miss California for her laughable "opposite marriage" stance, much to my surprised enjoyment. I do hate to praise the guy... I guess good on him issue-wise, with an F on the general human being scale.
I don't think there's any other outcome than the whole celebrity-news churn just eating its young and growing larger. People would actually have to stop checking in on it. Including me.