Lawrence.com

If you can manage to sit through this without harming small children or animals in the process, I have a few questions.

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I guess the obvious question is why anyone who hasn't suffered a few too many concussions would enjoy this, but I suppose one place to start is with the weird lesbian prison thing. I'm confused. It just seems so pointless to me. It did make me realize, though, that Madonna's Justify My Love came out, like, TWENTY years ago. Anyway, so after we spend about three minutes perplexed in the ladies' prison, the song starts. The way it starts so abruptly made me laugh, but this confuses me less. Pretty sure I haven't heard anyone defend the music at any point in the last year. It did inspire this spot of genius, however:

So Lady GaGa (who my roommate calls Lady GayGuy, somehow this still makes me laugh) then gets bailed out of jail by Beyonce, sporting blue lipstick and driving the Pussy Wagon from the Kill Bill movies. We then proceed into a very questionable Tarantino... something. I hesitate to call it homage. Most awkward imitation ever, maybe?

There are so, so many bad videos everywhere. Normally it doesn't bother me at all - but few people seem to get as much credit as Lady GaGa does for being such a visual artist. It's making me crazy. I like a person who can get away without wearing pants at the airport... but do we really want a new Madonna so bad that this'll do?