Posted
by Tom King
May 31, 2006 at 3:51 p.m.
Extreme Birdwatching
[ ![][1]][2] [ ![][3]][4] [ ![][5]][6] [ ![][7]][8] [ ![][9]][10] [ ![][11]][12] [ ![][13]][14] [ ![][15]][16]"When the large bird began trying to fly from the shoulder of the road we noticed that it was too big to get very much altitude. Christie said, "oh, my god..." I responded with, "it's going to be alright" right as the damn thing crashed through the windshield! Having just experienced the amazing sound of the windshield being penetrated by a bird, with broken glass falling all around us, and a turkey now onboard all I could say was, "IT'S IN THE BACKSEAT!" as I began trying to pull the car over. I remember thinking about how terrible it would be if the turkey continued trying to fly inside the car. We'd have to wrestle this bird and there was blood all around us. Fortunately, the bird only flopped about for a couple of seconds, once we got the car pulled over we found that the bird had passed away in the back of the car." - Jared Berteles.Jared Berteles went to KCI to pick up his sister on a beautiful April afternoon. On the way home - you know what happened. As unusual an occurence as this may seem, the fact is, over the past few years, wild turkeys all over the country have been acting up and making the news. Theories put forth thus far concerning the increasing aggression displayed by wild turkeys towards humans are varied and often feverish: - They are pawns in an alien takeover - They've developed a taste for human flesh - They're terrorists - They're fed up with humansLook through the stories below and come to your own conclusions. And stay out of the woods.¢ [TURKEY GOES AFTER COPS][17] ¢ [CRAZED CALIFORNIA TURKEYS][18] ¢ [BIZARRE NEW JERSEY TURKEYS][19] ¢ [NUTTY OKLAHOMA TURKEYS][20] ¢ [TURKEYS GO BERSERK ON MARTHA'S VINEYARD][21] ¢ [INSANITY OVERWHELMS MINNESOTA TURKEYS][22] ¢ [TURKEY DAMAGE CONTROL][23] ¢ [CAR CHASED BY TURKEYS][24] [1]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [2]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [3]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [4]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [5]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [6]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [7]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [8]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [9]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [10]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [11]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [12]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [13]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [14]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [15]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [16]: http://media.lawrence.com/img/blogs/s... [17]: http://www.nbc4.tv/news/4210736/detail.html [18]: http://www.ptreyeslight.com/stories/mar01_01/turkey.html [19]: http://www.mindfully.org/Heritage/2005/Wild-Turkeys-Attack23nov05.htm [20]: http://www.kotv.com/news/?80731 [21]: http://www.mvgazette.com/features/nature/?document=20031128_turkeys_on_parade [22]: http://www.dnr.state.mn.us/news/releases/index.html?id=1143472734 [23]: http://www.wildlifedamagecontrol.net/turkeycontrol.php [24]: http://www.campyonly.com/mypages/1-1-03.html
Comments
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davidryan (David Ryan) says…
They're clearly groÃervogelsturmtruppen out to destablize our driving habits.
I suspect they're doing the bidding of deer, who are tired of being smashed into.
altheasus (Althea Schnacke) says…
About this time last year, I was helping my brother move from Kansas City to Texas. And I'm driving along, middle of no where West Texas (think "Friday Night Lights"), almost home. Enjoying the scenery, I see a wild turkey out of the corner of my eye think "Oh, pretty, a turkey". Then "Oh crap" as the thing flies straight into the side of my stepfather's truck, leaving a dent the size of a basketball, but without any blood or feathers. I get home, start explaing what happened and they didn't believe me, especially without any gore. I think it was me saying "Really, if I had smacked into a pole, I would just say I smacked into a pole. And called when it happened. I was close enough, I just came home. I couldn't even think up a lie about a turkey flying into the side of the truck."
ladylaw (Terry Bush) says…
yet more proof that "The Silly Season" is upon us.... (see the writings of Robert Heinline for more info on what that means)....
CheyenneWay (anonymous) says…
your post reminded me of the Thanksgiving episode from WKRP when Less Nessman described hapless, live turkeys hurled from a helicopter hovering above a shopping center parking lot.
Herb who handled the stations public relations had set up the stunt and was questiond by the station manager about it.
"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly. "
mitzibel (Misty Nuckolls) says…
And now me. This huge dumb-ass suicidal bird launched itself into my windshield on Highway 59 just north of Moran. Now my windshield leaks and I have an insatiable urge to take to the woods with my 12-gague.