It's March Madness time, so Hop, Skip, and Go Naked.
This will be the first March Madness season of my fifteen year tenure in Lawrence that I will be able to remember. I am trying to calm myself with that thought, as we enter The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, and I do it sans adult beverage in hand.
Let me admit something here before people who know me call me out for being a giant fake and a shameless, degenerate liar. I am not a sports fan. I lack the gene that makes most people able to fixate securely on the TV set and watch the feats of strength. Consider this full disclosure that I am a fair weather fan, and I only come alive during tournament season.
But come alive I do. Why do I do it? Why do I subject myself to, nee, join in, the maddening crowds, the mayhem, the fans screaming words of violence and ire against boys they don’t even know, when I, by and large, abhor all things sports-related? Two reasons. 1) I love KU. I tear up at the sound of the alma mater and the fight song. The tournament is a very special time of year for my people. 2) I love a good party. And the NCAA tournament is nothing, if not a two week-long knock out of a party.
I’ll be devoting significant blog space, then, to these holiest of holy days. If you are not a sports fan, or a KU fan, I apologize in advance. Take heart, though. I don’t know the first thing about sports, so I won’t be doing any analysis or pretending to know even who won last night (besides KU). I do, once in awhile, try to throw in a sporty word, like “assist” or “double double” even though I don’t know what it means, because it turns my husband on.
What I bring to the table (har) during tournament season, is food. And drink. And drink. Just because I can’t drink it this year doesn’t mean I can’t make it, talk about it, sing “Memories” to it and think about the good ole days. Putting together just the right cocktail has the same effect on me that a candle-lit bath or a trip to Costco might have on other women. I find it soothing.
I hope to fill your Gott coolers full of ideas for taking to the watch parties you’ll be attending. If you don’t have any invitations to watch with friends, you better plan a party at your house. We don’t have time for weakness here, folks.
Because drinking (wah) is the most important part of the NCAA Tournament, I’ll start with my favorite game-watching cocktail, a tried and true favorite we like to call the Hop, Skip, and Go Naked. You might want to save this for the championship game, but I can’t admit to having that kind of self control. In fact, if I were able to partake, I’d make a batch about now, just to start training for my tournament drinking.
Into your Gott cooler, or whatever receptacle you prefer, pour the following:
1 2 liter bottle of sprite (or whatever cheap brand of lemon lime pop you can find, if you’re like me. Big K! YA!)
3 cans of cheap beer (PBR is the choice flavor amongst my people)
1 5th of vodka (I buy cheap, but not the cheapest)
1 can of frozen lemonade
1 can of frozen limeade
Note: I recommend doubling the batch.
Stir it up. Pour it in a plastic cup if you're gonna drink it outdoors. Drink it down. And then, hop… skip… you know the drill.