How to Cope if Infertility Causes Problems in Your Marriage
Infertility can be a real challenge and put strain on a relationship because it raises such deep emotions. Couples often feel hopeless, stressed, and sad. The infertility journey is hard and you don’t have to pretend that everything is fine, as that can just make coping even more difficult. It’s a time when couples need to look out for one another and have some difficult conversations. Here are some tips to keep your relationship strong when infertility is an issue.
Make time to talk
Infertility affects individuals differently and you need to take time to talk to make sure you’re both on the same page. Retreating into your own thoughts can be unhealthy at a time when you both need support from one another. One issue you will need to discuss is infertility treatment. IVF Authority offers information about infertility treatment grants available to reduce treatment costs that may be helpful to you if you decide to go for infertility treatment.
Whatever you decide, you need to be in it together and keep communicating rather than withdrawing due to your pain. You need to pay attention to what your partner is going through and be aware that their experience of way of coping may be different from yours.
Don’t underestimate its impact
Infertility is often difficult to discuss, even with close family. It can be easy to assume that it isn’t something that should affect you as much as it does and that you should deal with it on your own. The truth is that an infertility diagnosis is as hard to deal with as any other difficult diagnosis and can produce high levels of anxiety and other emotions.
Most cases of infertility are not predictable or preventable but it can be hard not to blame yourself. You need to find a way to stop blaming yourself and focus on moving forward and addressing the problem.
Stop waiting for a miracle
If you’ve been trying to conceive for over a year with no success (or for six months if you’re over 35), you need to take action. The problem with trying and trying while waiting for a miracle is that some of the causes of infertility worsen over time. You may decide not to go for infertility treatment but you shouldn’t avoid testing to find out what’s wrong and what options you have.
At least confirm that the problem is not one that gets worth waiting. There are also low-tech treatments that can work and your chances of success may be higher than you think.
Don’t base your self-worth on fertility
It is common for both men and women living with infertility to feel worthless and ashamed. You need to remember who you were before your diagnosis and not allow your infertility to define you and become the barometer of your self-worth.
Think about what you would tell someone else coping with infertility who was feeling worthless. You are likely to tell them that they are brave and strong rather than confirming their feelings of worthlessness.
Know your limits
There are likely to be some places and situations that you know will cause you pain, such as baby showers, children’s birthday parties or going to an amusement park. Going on social media can also cause pain when you see all the happy family photos with smiling children.
You need to do what’s best for you at this time which may include some short-term changes like staying off social media or staying away from some places. Know your own limits and do what you need to do to cope while you’re feeling fragile.