The Knifty Knitter is a Kmenace!
I'm distressed about the schism happening among Lawrence knitters. Actually, I should say between knitters and Knifty Knitters.These contraptions have taken the town by storm. Recently I attended a knit-in at a friend's house, and a good half of the crowd were knifting right along on their tube hats and scarves. It was fine and all; then, for some reason, one of the knifters lobbed a name at my side: "Yarn Barners."A "Yarn Barner"? I guess I'll own it. I admit to being a knitting traditionalist: I like scratchy wool, good cotton, and undyed alpaca. I like tiny little #3 needles, and knitting with four of them at a time. I once made socks on #1s, and used a toothpick as a cable needle. My face pinches up like a mother-in-law at the thought of acrylic. Eww. I need to point out, however, that I'm less a "Yarn Barner" than simply a knitter.The Knifty Knitter, I have been told, is for the crafting-intimidated. It's a circle (for hats, or perhaps worsted-weight tube tops) or long bar (for scarves or pot holders) with prongs going around the length of it. By wrapping yarn around the prongs a specific way, and then pulling with a dental hook, the knifter can imitate--imitate--knitting.Now if you're one of these new-fangled knifters, don't get keyed up just yet. Let me work this through.Yes, to be frank, I don't get the appeal of the Knifty Knitter. The supplies and equipment are larger and less portable. You can't decrease or increase, purl, cable, or turn a heel on it. It may be newer, but it's certainly less flexible than simply buying a pair of #8 needles. How many bulky stocking caps can a girl make? Yet in the spirit of mending this rift in the crafting community, I'm accepting the knifters. If anything, the Knifty Knitter is keeping people out of trouble (idle hands are the devil's workshop, you know). However, I want to send out a gentle plea: give knitting, real knitting, a try. I understand the intimidation. I've been there myself. But let me tell you, and please believe me: _knitting is easy._Once the lustre of your purple Knifty Knitter begins to wear off, buy yourself a pair of #8 needles (any brand will do; for a yarn snob, I love the heck outta my cheapo Boyes). Go to Crafty & Co. or the Yarn Barn downtown and tell them you want to learn how to knit. Take a class or buy a book. Talk to a knitter you know. Check out www.knitty.com. Your world will open up. With those same #8s, you can make a ribbed hat with decreases to actually fit your head. Then you can make a funny ski hat (the long kind, like from when you were a kid). Then you can make a scarf, and then a sweater. You can make grandma some dishcloths. Make a baby blanket for your breeder friends. Or a smart little sweater vest for your goofy nephew.Next thing you know, you'll be knitting wigs and nose warmers and Joey Ramone dolls and a few bawdy things too lewd to mention here (yes, I have patterns for all these goodies, and yes, my mom reads my blogs). None of these are possible on the Knifty Knitter.So jump on in! We'll be swapping cable needles before you know it.